Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Makin' That Cheddar


A few mindless musings while T.O. makes me say "Wow, boy..."

A few days ago, the #1 kicker on the Indianapolis Colts' depth chart was Jose Cortez. Today it's Adam Vinatieri. I don't think anyone has upgraded this dramatically since Kevin Federline went from fluffing the assistant manager at White Castle for some sliders to getting Britney Spears to say "I do" before sobering up. Now we'll just have to wait and see if the Colts can pull the K-Fed equivalent of turning Britney into trailer trash. Maybe after a few weeks of hanging out with Peyton Manning, Vinatieri will start getting leg tremors in the 4th quarter and shanking field goals 20 yards wide right. PopoZao...

Ever have a really bad break up with your girlfriend and then later that night you head out to a bar, get totally wasted and take the first willing body with a pulse back to your place? Then you wake up the next morning and your head is killing you, your dick is burning, and the troll you brought home has vomited all over your room? If so, then I'm sure you can understand why the Seattle Seahawks just gave Julian Peterson $18.5 million in guaranteed money...

When Drew Rosenhaus announced in the Owens' press conference that the scene on Jerry Jones' private jet was "moving" and that "the love affair has already begun," did anyone else picture Jerry Jones in the very special role of Gordon Jump's chararcter, Mr. Carlson, and T.O. in the role of Arnold Jackson, drinking wine and flexing for shirtless photos for Jerry's camera? Anyone?? Anyone at all???

From the same press conference, in response to questions about his behavior with the Eagles, Owens said, "I'm going to put those things behind me." The next day, Owens announced that he would be releasing a book...which detailed his behavior with the Eagles. Ah, he's a changed man already...

The Cowboys released future Hall of Famer, Larry Allen, the last remaining player from the Cowboys' Super Bowl teams. Jerry Jones said that despite the release, the door is open for him to return to the team. Another member of that Super Bowl offensive line, Nate Newton, also gave Allen assurances that if things didn't work out with the Cowboys, he knew of a way that Allen could still bring in some extra cash- tho he'd have to provide his own van...

John Abraham got his wish when the Jets, Falcons, and Broncos hooked up for a 3-way that ended with Abraham becoming a member of the Atlanta Falcons and getting a new 6 yr, $45 mil contract. This move shows that if a player pouts, throws a tantrum, or otherwise exploits loopholes in contracts, he can can pretty much force a team to do whatever he wants them to do. Of course, I guess if there was any doubt, he only needed to look at the way things worked out for Terrell Owens. Or Steve Hutchinson. Or Daunte Culpepper. Or soon for Eric Moulds.

Now I understand why Paul Tagliabue wants to retire...

5 Comments:

At Wed Mar 22, 02:24:00 PM PST , Anonymous jetsgrumbler said...

name another profession where employees aren't allowed to choose where they work. yes, they get mega-bucks, but i can still understand an athlete wanting to choose where he plays. why should abraham, whose contract had expired, be forced to sign a new contract with the jets? same w/hutchinson. these guys had no contract and should be able to sign a contract and play wherever they want.

furthermore, nfl contracts are completely one-sided. larry allen is a great example of this. they guy just got canned for being one of the all time best at his position. kevin mawae just booted by jets in same fashion.

would you sign a contract where your employer could terminate you at any time, for any reason, but you had to uphold your end of the deal? if management doesn't have to guarantee they will pay, why should player guarantee they will play?

 
At Wed Mar 22, 02:48:00 PM PST , Anonymous Insomniac said...

That's why signing bonuses are so integral to NFL contracts. Most people realize that the contract numbers that are reported are filled with window dressing that have the combined effect of feeding a player's ego, promoting an agent's value, and allowing team management to circumvent the salary cap; and that the player will never really see most of that money. I'm sure Larry Allen knew at the start of last season that if he was going to play another year beyond 05/06, it wouldn't be under the terms of his current deal.

Guaranteeing a contract doesn't guarantee effort either. Just look at Vince Carter and Alonzo Mourning in the NBA, who both had tons of money going their way but decided not to play until they got to play for who they wanted.

As for the issue of franchise tags and transition tags, I'll cop out and say that's a collective bargaining agreement. If it was really such an issue for players to restrict their movement in exchange for high salaries, than the NFLPA shouldn't have agreed to the terms.

To answer your question, if Sports Illustrated offerred me a one-year contract where they handed me a check for $150,000 to write columns for them, but my base salary was $1,000/week and they could fire me if my readership was too low, I'd sign that contract in a heartbeat.

 
At Wed Mar 22, 03:18:00 PM PST , Anonymous Insomniac said...

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At Wed Mar 22, 03:26:00 PM PST , Anonymous Insomniac said...

I forgot to add...thanks for the comments. Please feel free to chime in any time, as I seldom have any idea what I'm talking about and could use all the help I can get.

 
At Thu Mar 23, 06:53:00 AM PST , Anonymous jetsgrumbler said...

yeah, have to agree w/you on the cotnract to write for SI. also on signing bonuses. the restricted/franchise tag clause still seems like bad deal for players to me. but i would take a bad deal that paid me a min of $475,000 any day.

thanks for visiting my place.

 

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