Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Someone Caught a Big Fish

This Saturday, Florida Marlins pitcher Dontrelle Willis will marry law school graduate Natalee Vitagliano. With two days left until the wedding, there are still a few items remaining on their wedding registries. Fortunately, the couple has been reasonable and is registered at Macy's and Crate and Barrel.

While the Waterford standing cross has already been snatched up, you can still send your love with a Vera Wang Ice Bucket for $150. Of if you'd prefer, the 7.5" Holland Bowl for $15.95 is a nice way to say, "Hey, I'd really like a thank you note from Dontrelle Willis."

By my count, the registries include over 80 individual items (goblets, martini glasses, decanters, etc) whose primary function is to deliver alcohol from a bottle into your belly. I think I'm beginning to understand Dontrelle's crazy windup now. He thinks he's going through a normal delivery, but he's so lit that he flails about like Bob Huggins at a sobriety checkpoint.

Oh...and congratulations to the happy couple.

3 Comments:

At Wed Dec 06, 01:02:00 PM PST , Anonymous jason said...

This is either a bizarrely obscure webfind or the most brilliant phishing expedition I have ever seen. If only the registry was for Hiram's Liquor and Guns, then I'd know it was you.

 
At Wed Dec 06, 01:34:00 PM PST , Anonymous insomniac said...

If it were a phishing expedition, then the entry would be littered w/ bad grammar, poor spelling, and omitted words.

Oh wait...

Dammit!

 
At Thu Dec 07, 10:58:00 AM PST , Anonymous hater said...

Good luck to the happy couple. Knowing Dontrelle's history, it will last about a week and a half, if he's lucky. Dick!

 

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