The Detroit Tigers Cameras Are Directed By Zalman King

As noted earlier today at With Leather, Reanen Maxwell, a former scoreboard operator at Comerica Park has filed a lawsuit against the Detroit Tigers because:

"Tigers photographers routinely shot inappropriate "soft core videos" of female fans at baseball games."

The suit sounds dubious as even using the most conservative definition of "soft core," it's hard to believe that such a practice would go unnoticed in this hypersensitive and hyperhorny culture of ours. My initial instinct was to dismiss the claim as being little more than retaliation from a puritanical (and/or fat,old) former employee. But then I remembered that I still had the 9th inning of Justin Verlander's no-hitter on my Tivo, so I figured I'd rewatch it to see if there was any evidence that the claim might have any merit at all. I was shocked by what I discovered.

The first few crowd shots are pretty standard fare. Fans clapping, old men high-fiving...nothing out of the ordinary here. But if you look real closely and don't blink at the wrong time, you'll notice that after Verlander gets the 2nd out of the ninth, a cameraman does seem to focus in on one woman in particular. See for yourself:



Wow. I mean, just...wow. I didn't even know Comerica had bedroom suites- these modern ballparks sure are something. I can't even show you what happens after Verlander gets the 3rd out. That footage depicts individual acts of perversion so profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.

Someone should just cut Reanen (Ms. Maxwell, if you're nasty) a check right now.