The UCLA Dance-A-Thon Continues. But Just Barely

Every time that UCLA advances a round, I will post a set of unpublished photos of the UCLA Dance and/or Cheer teams. Hopefully, this will give undecided fans a reason to root for the Bruins.

This was almost the shortest recurring feature of all time. But fortunately, UCLA managed to pull out a one point victory over VCU and will advance to the 2nd round. So with that, I send this offering to the gods of basketball karma:

Perhaps UCLA's Cheerleaders Can Help The Team Find Their Mojo

This season, the one word that best describes UCLA's performance is "inconsistent." The Bruins started the year ranked in the top 5 in preseason polls. Perhaps this was an unfair expectation given the losses of Kevin Love, Luc Richard Mbah a Mote, and Russell Westbrook (however Memphis and Kansas lost their key players and have recovered nicely). After 30+ games, it's still hard to know exactly what to expect from the team. A run into the elite 8 wouldn't be out of the question, but neither would a first round loss at the hands of VCU.

However far UCLA advances, they'll have to do it all on the East coast. Like any successful team, UCLA is one that people love to hate, so they should expect a hostile crowd in Philadelphia. Actually "hostile" is pretty much the norm for a Philly crowd regardless of who's playing. But for those without any allegiances, there is one very good reason to root for the Bruins. This is the final season for most, if not all, of the members of the UCLA Dance Team. So when the Bruins lose, we all lose. Here's an idea of what they bring to the table:




This Thursday, cheer for the Bruins (and a lot of TV timeouts). As an added bonus, each time that UCLA advances a round in the tournament, I'll post a gallery of previously unpublished photos from this season. So go ahead and cheer for UCLA. Your brackets are busted anyway.

UCLA Bruins Evoke Memories of Past Legendary Greatness

Tonight, UCLA plays at Arizona State in a nationally televised game that not only has huge tournament seeding implications, but will also go a long way towards validating their generous standing in the ESPN/USA Today rankings. Despite not having a win over a top 25 team yet this season, the coaches have voted UCLA as the #6 in the country. This lofty status is the result of a very successful four game homestand in which the Bruins absolutely dominated everyone that ventured into Pauley Pavilion, winning by an average of more than 20 points and putting each team away by halftime. With their excellent team defense, quick transition offense, and overall unselfish play over the last two weeks, they've certainly given the appearance of one of the best teams in the country. In fact, with John Wooden looking on from behind the bench, one couldn't help but think of their great teams from the 1970's:



Ok, so maybe UCLA doesn't have anyone that's going to go 21 of 22 from the floor. But still, being in attendance this past weekend, I had to admit that there was something happening on the court which was reminiscent of UCLA's brilliance in the early 70's.

Then:



Now:



Now that is championship caliber. No wonder UCLA's looking so good in the polls.

Dick Vitale Gives Jayhawk Cheerleaders His Feel Of Approval

Quiz time. After a three month absence from the internets, a sports blogger wants to reestablish a viewership to his website. Should he:

a) Take time to write an insightful, uplifting piece about an athlete who has had a positive influence on the community around him?

b) Write an inflammatory headline that might show up on a few search engines?

c) Rip on an ESPN personality?

d) Feature a midriff baring cheerleader?

e) Any of the above, except for God's sake, don't even think about "a."

The answer of course is "e," which is why it was nice timing that just when I was contemplating whether I should return to the blogosphere, I should see Dick Vitale dancing with some cheerleaders and..."freeze it!"





Hmmm...I might have a feel-good story, afterall. It's hard to tell, but it looks to me like Dicky V could be called for a hand-check violation on those moves. Although, it's not like he went for full-on cuppage, and there really aren't many 'safe' areas on a girl in a sports bra for a broadcaster to grab. So maybe this should just go in the category of, "no harm, no foul- play on."

Let's check the videotape:



Strange choice of music, I know. But I thought I'd get a head start on Vitale's tribute video after Bob Knight marginalizes him to ESPNU.

So upon further review...play on. Play on playa, play on. Sorry, I think I channeled Stu Scott there for a second. (Hey, that's two ESPN personalities in one post. I think I'm finding my stride again pretty quickly. It's good to be back.)

Bloggers Can Fact Check, Afterall

Here is the word I received from ASU athletics. I was hoping for some more specific information, but this nebulous clarification will have to suffice:

Thank you for your email regarding our cheer program. We want to clarify the changes we have made.

We are not eliminating our cheer program. We are strengthening our presentation. Our game experience is centered around several organizations that help create our in game environment. We have decided to combine the strengths of these organizations under one central leadership group thereby creating a unified spirit squad. This will help to enhance the communication and coordination of these entities. By practicing together, sharing common goals, and increasing communication, we will be enhancing the game experience for our fans. We hope that our current members will tryout for our spirit squad.

The focus of our program is on the fan experience at athletic events. We have also been concerned with safety issues that have been well documented throughout the NCAA over the past few years. Our spirit squad will continue to promote school spirit, perform and support the athletic programs at Arizona State University, and interact with the Sun Devil community. We appreciate the enthusiasm and contributions of our past and present cheer squad members. We look forward to the contributions of future members.

Thank you for taking the time to express your thoughts to us. We hope this clarifies our reasons and motivations for these decisions.


Sincerely,

Arizona State University Athletics

Sun Devil Girls Punished For Being Too Devilish?

I'm getting ready for a weekend getaway for San Diego. After writing two entire posts this week, I think I'm deserving of a break.

My previous weekend roadtrip was to the Phoenix/Tempe area- home of spring baseball, about a half dozen Hooters, and the Arizona State cheer team. Or maybe not. According to some reports, the cheer squad might be in the process of being disbanded, possibly as retribution (tho I'm skeptical) for some photos that surfaced on the internet.(HT: With Leather):





I like how this was the lead story for the nine o'clock news- and they showed every picture in the "controversial" photoset. Gotta love Fox. Also, it's hard to tell if cheer is being eliminated altogether or just being restructured. If the new team is being modeled after the SC Song Girls (Contrary to anchor John Hook's words, UCLA does have both a cheer and a dance squad, which features more elaborate choreography and costuming than SC. But he is right that they look good in their uniforms.), it won't be the worst possible development.

It's also interesting that one cheerleader describes The Dirty as "insignificant," but then goes on to describe it as a way to "ruin people's lives." Very astute. Usually, it takes about ten years out of college before you realize that your life being ruined really isn't that significant afterall.

I'm trying to get some clarification from some people within ASU, but it's a Friday on a college campus; so I don't expect anyone to be awake before noon.

UCLA Just Keeps On Dancing

The liberating thing about running up credit card debt is that once it gets to a certain level, it really become insignificant if you throw a few hundred more onto it. The card won't realistically be getting paid off in the forseeable future anyway, so why not live a little? And so it was a no-brainer that once I was on the road to Phoenix with some friends that I wasn't going to settle for nosebleed seats. I thought I ended up with a pretty good view, but it was nothing compared to that of the photographer pictured here:




UCLA's basketball team came out focused and ready to put on a show. Their dance team displayed a similar energy and enthusiasm. For pictures of the players, check out my Flickr set. For photos of the dance team, just scroll on down:

Photos From Phoenix- Xavier Edition

Overall, I thought Xavier's cheerleading team represented their team very well in the regional finals. I do wish however that someone had let them know that Phoenix is in the desert, and so Ohio winter wear would not be necessary:

Angels in Anaheim, UCLA Edition

Getting tickets right behind the UCLA bench for the first two rounds of the tournament was great for watching the players' reactions during the game and Coach Howland's energy and techniques during timeouts. But the seats were awful for anyone trying to compose a photo essay of the Dance Team during their performances. If anyone wants pics of UCLA players huddled together, email me- I have a few dozen. While I was able to snap off some pics of the Dance Team over the course of two games, it admittedly isn't my best work. But don't blame me. Blame Lorenzo Mata and Alfred Aboya, who refused to sit down during timeouts.

Angels in Anaheim, BYU Edition

While the BYU basketball team left something to be desired (like say, athleticism), the cheer squad was very impressive. They had tons of energy, enthusiasm, and flexibility, all of which should come in handy when they pop out eight kids a piece over the next few years:

Angels in Anaheim, Texas A&M Edition

Aggies fans endured a difficult loss to UCLA Saturday in a game that was plagued by inconsistent officiating that took away any flow or tempo from the contest. The only time there was any sense of rhythm on the court was when either the UCLA or Texas A&M dancers performed during timeouts. Here are the Aggie girls in action:

Angels in Anaheim, Stanford Edition

Photos of the Stanford Dollies in action are elusive- mainly because they spend a lot of time standing around. Some may view their routines as traditional, while others see them as choreography that's outdated by 60 years. Amazingly, I was able to capture a few photos of this dance team while performing in the 2nd round of the NCAA tournament.

Dick Enberg Is Only Human

Fear not, Mr. Enberg- you are neither the first, nor will you be the last, to be captivated by the UCLA Dance Team:





Oh My!

Why Everyone Should Hope UCLA Goes Deep in the Tourney: The Dance Team

Talking briefly to a few members of the UCLA spirit squad last week, it was mentioned half-jokingly that as a member of the team in Los Angeles one has the dream that they'll be discovered during a game and that it will lead to bigger things. I'd like to think that I've done my part in giving them some extra exposure this season- tho perhaps they were exposed a little more than they would have liked. Here are the lovely ladies of the UCLA dance team in action this past weekend:

UCLA Has One Helluva Home Court Advantage

Want to know the real reason that UCLA received some favorable calls at the end of their last few games (although Berkeley fans have since admitted that the Anderson non-foul looked legit)? It has nothing to do with the mystique of Pauley Pavilion or a Pac-10 conspiracy to ensure that the conference had a team with a #1 seed in the NCAA tournament. No, the real influence over the minds of the zebras came from another set of UCLA representatives. Captured (albeit blurry) here is the one time the refs didn't miss the action on the court:




Hey, Libbey- Is that a whistle in your pocket or are you just happy to still have a job?

Is There Such a Thing As Too Many Cheerleader Pics?

Let's see. I'm heading out for another long weekend in Vegas. What could I possibly post that will appease my readers until then?

Beginning today, the UCLA Bruins basketball team has a very important and difficult road trip in the state of Arizona. It's important because they likely need to win out in the Pac-10 if they want any chance of a #1 seed; and it's difficult not only because they'll be facing two Arizona teams that are fighting for their tournament lives, but also because the Bruins will have to take the court without the support of these girls:





Enjoy your weekend all.

Nobody Puts USC Song Girls In a Corner

Sunday night, I paid my first visit to the Galen Center, the newish (built in late 2006) basketball facility for the USC Trojans which is located just a few urine-soaked blocks from the main campus. Wearing UCLA blue to the game, there were a few things I knew to expect. I knew that I'd be booed and cursed at by USC students (I was, although it wasn't excessively vulgar at all); and I knew that if the Bruins were to win, Trojan fans would immediately invoke the recent history of the football programs (they did). But one thing I wasn't prepared for was the aural assault that was Petros Papadakis as the PA announcer.

For those that don't live in Southern California, here's the best way I can describe Petros. Remember when Tony Siragusa was on Hard Knocks and in preparation for a career outside of football, Goose tried to portray himself as the fat, fun-loving court jester- only he wasn't really that funny, so instead he was just loud and obnoxious? Well try to imagine that rather than getting a tv gig where he could receive some training, Siragusa was instead given a sports radio talk show where the more obnoxious he was, the more airtime he would be given. That's Petros Papadakis; and for some reason USC has decided to give him a microphone for a captive USC audience. It's absolutely brutal. By the end of the game, I wanted to borrow a gun from one of the SC fans, blow my brains out, and leave a note beside me which read, "Whoever finds this, please pick up the gun and empty the chamber into my head so that my ears can never be raped again." C'mon Southern Cal. The voice of your basketball program is a mindless, witless blowhard. Even I think you deserve better.

As for the game itself- while Tim Floyd may be a brilliant defensive tactician, he leaves a lot to be desired when it comes to player development. The Trojans only substituted one player out (Jefferson) the entire game, leaving the other four to play all 40 minutes of the game. I know SC was down an injured player, but there had to be somebody on that bench who could steal a few minutes of rest for the starters. No wonder the Trojans finished the game with more turnovers (22) than field goals (20). I'm just surprised that nobody vomited on the ball.

If the Bruins want to make it back to the Final Four, somebody is going to have to find their outside shot. In their last four games, the Bruins are 7 for 44 from beyond the arc. Josh Shipp has missed his last 15 attempts at three pointers. Lately, their most potent long range shooter has been center/forward Kevin Love. Fortunately, the team's next games are at home vs the worst team in the conference, Oregon State and a team that plays pretty loose defense, Oregon. If they're ever going to find their shooting touch, it should be against these schools.

This was the first year in which the visiting team's cheerleaders, dance team and band didn't make the trip for the rivalry games as financial greed (initiated by UCLA) has taken priority over tradition. One would have guessed that this would at least mean more floor time for the USC Song girls during timeouts, but instead the marketing experts at the Galen Center opted to use that time to promote SC alum Will Ferrell's new movie, "Semi-Pro." There was a trailer for the movie on the jumbotron, the dance team performed to one of the songs from the movie, and fans were given cardboard cutouts of Will Ferrell's face to wave around during free throws. Either SC is really proud of their prodigal son or they're getting some points on the back end of the movie. I'm guessing it's the latter. Meanwhile, the Song Girls spent most of the timeouts prancing in a corner behind the baseline. That's inexcusable.

Matt Leinart was sitting courtside at the game, and surprisingly, he was with his son Cole and his baby momma, Brynn Cameron. They all appeared to be happy, which must mean that Matt's child support check had just cleared.

While I think the architects of the Galen Center got a few things wrong, being in a new building was a stark reminder of how outdated Pauley Pavilion has become. There's really no excuse for one of the top basketball programs in the country to be playing in a building that offers neither the intimacy nor the amenities of these newer facilities. Actually, the Galen Center doesn't offer much in the way of intimacy either. It's a rather sterile, concrete structure in which the students were screwed over by being put behind the backboard. Worst of all, the seating was designed in such a way that you feel removed from the action on the court and feel much more like a distant observer than an active participant. For example, my seats were in row 14 behind the backboard opposite the SC students, and yet I was so far from center court that I had to take an Ansel Adams landscape approach to the photos I took. That is, if Ansel Adams was a horny old man instead of some dude that just liked nature. Well, judge for yourself:

The Action in Pauley Pavilion is a Joy to Behold

I've been going to UCLA basketball games for many years, and I can't remember a weekend series where the team has looked so dominant. In sweeping the Arizona schools, their play was efficient, unselfish, and unyielding. In short, they looked like a team of championship caliber.

Fittingly, the UCLA dance team was equally spectacular during the Arizona series. While always an exhibit of beauty and athleticism, this crew brought an energy and sex appeal that assured the crowd that there would be no downtime during timeouts. Fortunately, I had my camera to document the action on display:

Random Pics Mysteriously Appear on Memory Card

A female friend of mine was kind enough to invite me to the UCLA-Washington game tonight. While she's already aware that I'm a bit of a perv, I prefer that she thinks I'm the amusing kind of perv and not the creepy variety. As a result, my cheerleader photo ops were limited. Here, however, are a few that somehow made their way onto my camera:




As for the game itself, Luc Richard Mbah a Moute was actually hitting his jumper, and when that happens, the Bruins are without a weak link on offense. Combine that with Russell Westbrook's ongoing Allen Iverson impression and UCLA's suffocating team defense (Ryan Appleby was not only held scoreless, but was only able to get off two shots the entire game) and it translated into an easy 69-55 victory in which UCLA was on cruise control the entire second half. Bruins will get a stronger test of where they're at as a team Saturday when they face the most efficient team in the country, the Washington State Cougars.

Words Fail Me. Pictures Never Do

The Wooden Classic was played over the weekend, and since it was a few days ago, here's a quick refresher on the action from that day. The Bruins dance team came out wearing their jersey tops (a fan favorite) but elected to wear pants instead of shorts and knee high socks. As a result, UCLA struggled early. At halftime, the girls changed into their blue dresses with the high slits, and it was the Bruins' game from that point on. I think some guys scored some baskets too, but my camera doesn't really have much evidence of that:

Pauley Pavilion Picture Pages

While at Pauley Pavilion, I did manage to pull the camera away from Steve Lavin's chiseled mug to snap a few other pics. I didn't really want to take any photos of cheerleaders, but I did it for you, my readers. You pervs. I hope you're happy.

There's Gold In Them Thar Hills

Sunday, I went up to the Bay Area to catch the Saints play at the 49ers. When I got the tickets before the season started, I thought it would be a marquee matchup. As it turns out, the Saints have been an early disappointment (although in their weakened division, they're still very much in the thick of things) and the Niners are looking to keep the Patriots dynasty alive with a top 5 draft pick, as NE owns SF's pick next year. Both teams went into the game with identical records, so one might have anticipated it to be an evenly matched game. As most of you know, it was a blowout.

But while the game itself wasn't very entertaining, fans at Candlestick - sorry, Monster Park - still had plenty to cheer about. It was the weekend before Halloween, and at halftime, the Gold Rush Girls chose to honor that glorious Holiday by changing from their revealing cheer outfits into revealing costumes. As I've written before, I love when cheerleaders wear costumes because they are fulfilling the role of two fantasies simultaneously: Cheerleader/Nurse, Cheerleader/Cowgirl, Cheerleader/Alice in Wonderland (don't judge me). Fortunately, I brought my camera with me. I just wish I had one w/ a better zoom. Here are some pics from the game. Any inclusion of actual players is purely incidental:







Boy, I sure did miss football.

The Softer Side of Juice Deuce

Andy Katz has a nice piece on the debut of USC freshman OJ Mayo at an exhibition in Mazatlan. The article is noteworthy not so much for the stories he relates, but rather for the possibilities they present.

For one, perhaps there is another side to OJ Mayo than the one that has been presented in the mainstream media and blogs (including this one), and he's actually a misunderstood, industrious kid just trying to do what's best for his future.

More importantly, if USC was accompanied by any members of their spirit squad, then on some digital camera somewhere, there have to be pictures of SC song girls frolicking on the beaches of Mazatlan.

Oh. Sweet. Jesus.

The Greatest Soccer Video Ever Made

I don't know if With Leather has posted this clip or not. But even if they have, I'm sure you won't mind a second viewing. Or a third...or a fourth.

Just be careful if you're at work. I know how bosses don't really like it when you actually appear to be happy at the office.



I would have actually watched the womens soccer league - on pay per view, even - if it had been more like that. Well at least the first 10 minutes of it. After that, I may have needed a sandwich and a nap.

The Nightcap - Allison's Family Continues to Stokke Internet Fire

Tonight's Nightcap is sponsored by Allison Stokke's drink of choice, Belvedere Vodka. Because when not trying to maintain those last few moments of innocence, it's always fun for an 18 year-old to party with her boyfriend, throw back a few shots, and chase it with some Coors Light. (Note: I'm just guessing on the can in her hand. It could very well be Diet Coke. Also the bottle doesn't appear to have been opened...yet.)

So let me get this straight- high school pole vaulter Allison Stokke is upset about all the attention she's receiving, so this Orange County girl's solution is to go to the Washington Post and Fox News with her story? If she really wanted anonymity, she should have granted Insomniac's Lounge an interview. I can promise her that my parents wouldn't have been adding her to their MySpace page immediately afterwards. Perhaps her feelings in the Post article are sincere, but if so, she's been badly misguided by her media savvy father. (He is an attorney who regularly defends people accused of rape and child molestation, so he's very familiar with using the media). The timing is odd too. It's the end of the school year. There won't be many meets between now and her college track season next spring, so this story would have dried up quickly as websites moved on to June's flavor of the month. She's in a peripheral (i.e., non-televised), seasonal sport, so unlike athletes like Michelle Wie and Maria Sharapova, her exposure is limited by the short duration of her sport. Even the peripheral athletes that overtly seek extra attention have a very short life span. When is the last time you saw Jennie Finch anywhere? Anyone remember high jumper Amy Acuff? If the Stokke family had just left the story alone, it would have run its course, and no one would have ever mentioned her again until perhaps the 2008 Summer Olympics. As it is, she's added an extra week or two to her lifespan.

Besides, she's going to Cal-Berkeley. By this time next year, she'll have stopped wearing makeup or shaving her armpits. I doubt many people will be fleecing her Facebook page for pics then.

....

A few other thoughts from the day in sports that really should be in their own posts, but that would mean coming up with some new headlines; and it's already almost 4 am, so screw it...

It's been about six hours since I've last checked the story, so I'm not sure where Kobe Bryant currently stands on his trade demands with the Lakers. Either way, it doesn't really matter. Kobe has no leverage on the issue, and Jerry Buss will stop drinking with hot 23 year-olds before he trades Kobe Bryant. At least that's the case this offseason. There is however one scenario in which I could forsee Bryant possibly leaving LA. If OJ Mayo totally blows up during his one season at USC, then I could see Buss trading Kobe to move up in the 2008 draft for the rights to the fellow Trojan (Buss received his PhD from and taught at USC). While he won't have the same cache as Kobe Bryant, "Juice Deuce" should still be a pretty good draw in Los Angeles. Combine him with whomever the Lakers draft from this deep 2007 class and you've suddenly built a decent nucleus to compete in the next generation's (Portland, Seattle) Western Conference...

Personally, I was much more offended by ARod's latest bush league move on the field in Toronto than I was by reports of him heading up to his Four Seasons hotel room with a stripper. I don't know what that says about me, and I probably don't want to know...

So for three weeks, I've been waiting for Tom Glavine to get closer to 300 wins, so I could post my well-researched (by my standards, at least) article about how he could very likely be the last pitcher to reach that magic number for the next 10 years, along with speculation of who that next 300 game winner might be. Then Wednesday afternoon, I walked past a newsstand and saw that very topic is the cover story for this week's Sporting News. Sonofab*tch! To all you bloggers out there, the lesson to take from this is to always post whatever is on your mind, no matter how hasty or pointless it might seem...

I've got another contest to share that I should probably be keeping for myself. Between now and June 3, you can enter on DenverBroncos.com for the chance to win an all expense FunJet Vacation to Cozumel during the week of June 24-July 1. Putting the "fun" in FunJet is that those dates coincide with the Denver Broncos Cheerleaders calendar photoshoot, and the winner will be given the opportunity to attend one session of the shoot. While it's not explicitly stated in the rules, I assume the winner will also have to pass a lie detector test, as Mike Shanahan needs to know your true intentions before letting you go.

Oh, and if you happen to win but can't find anyone to gawk at Broncos Cheerleaders with ya....Lemme know.

I Sure Do Miss Football

The New England Patriots Cheerleaders have released a few photos from their recent calendar photoshoot:







2008 is looking like a fantastic year for the Pats.

Beach Volleyball is Great For the Glutes

Sunday, I made my way down to Hermosa Beach to catch the final day of the AVP beach volleyball tournament. I'm not the most avid follower of beach volleyball, so I had a little bit to learn once I got there. What I learned most is just how much better life can be when you're drinking before noon. (Actually, I guess it was more of a refresher course.) But between stops at bars and picking up some free swag, I did manage to actually watch a few matches. In case you didn't catch the tape delayed broadcast on FSN, here's a very brief summary:

In the first semifinal in the women's division, it was Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor against two women who weren't quite camera ready by 9 am. Kerri Walsh showed great form throughout and led her team to victory.

Once in the finals, they continued to dominate, easily winning the title in two games, 21-15, 21-11. The win gave May-Treanor a record 73 wins on the tour. Other highlights from the day included an appearance by Eva Longoria in a celebrity match to benefit Padres Contra El Cancer that unfortunately was tarnished by the decision to give Carlos Mencia a mic and allow him to commentate during the match. (You won't believe this, but he spent the entire time making predictable, tired jokes utilizing Mexican stereotypes.) Fortunately, between the Cuervo Girls, the Bud Light Girls, and even Eva, there was plenty to keep a person distracted from the Bland of Mencia.



Apparently there was also a men's division competing throughout the day. But I somehow managed to miss that.

FYI, the next tour stop is this upcoming weekend in beach volleyball mecca, Louisville, Kentucky.

An Open Letter to CBS

Dear CBS Directors,

I know you have a lot of sponsors who have logos that need to be presented coming out of each commercial, but this evening when USC takes on North Carolina, it may be the last opportunity to show the SC Song Girls. For all the basketball fans who are choosing to stay home and watch TV this Friday night rather than going out to a bar, night club, or strip joint, could you please reward their loyalty with a few unobstructed shots of these lovely ambassadors of the game:





Thank you kindly,

Basketball fans everywhere

P.S. Keep your cameramen ready for some nice shots of the Ducks cheerleaders too.

Cheerleader Hall of Fame? Bring It On!

I can always count on MJD for his in-depth, hard-hitting research that reveals the kind of human interest story that makes you truly appreciate the impact that sports has in society on a day to day basis. Never was this more true than today, when he uncovered a sparsely circulated press release which announced that Proformance Sports Marketing and Entertainment, under the direction of former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader Cindy Villareal-Hughes, is in the process of developing a Cheerleading Hall of Fame. To quote MJD:

"Austin is considered a favorite to host the Hall of Fame, but it's not yet a lock. According to Shelby Bell, a PSME spokeswoman, other sites are being considered "because they are central cheerleading points of interest." I would like to direct her to another central cheerleading point of interest, located in my pants."

Of course, the next logical question is: Of all of the generous, tireless women who have shaken their asses for the masses, who is most deserving of immediate induction into the hall? If I were given a vote- and really, I think I've earned one, here would be my inaugural class (as always, larger photos are available for most images by clicking the thumbnail:

Carolina Panthers Dancers Angela Keathley and Victoria Renee Thomas.
When Angela and Victoria decided to hook up for some bathroom stall lesbian lovin in a Tampa Bay Banana Joe's, they not only elevated the discussion of cheerleaders to its rightful place as the lead story on sports talk radio, they also reassured every male out there that it's perfectly reasonable to believe everything you read in Penthouse Letters. Here is the police report from Smoking Gun if you need a refresher on the incident. The only thing missing is testimony from a bouncer which begins, "I never thought this would happen to me..."

USC Song Girls.
The SC Girls deserve their own wing in the hall for their decades of contribution to the sport. Nobody pays tribute to the tight white sweater and nobody prances around like the happiest strippers on the planet quite like the SC girls. They are a joy to behold. However in recent history, two SC girls have distinguished themselves from the pack. These two are so notorious, that even without their names being well publicized, people immediately know who they are. The first was the tall blonde who cheered for Texas in the Rose Bowl and UCLA after scores proving that in their heart of hearts, cheerleaders are just born to cheer. The second SC girl was immortalized in "FlashGate" during the Rose Bowl when her spankies became a wedgy, revealing a decent amount of underbutt during a perfectly executed spin move. Hopefully this girl will be known as a pioneer in her field; and one day, all cheerleaders will be wearing thongs under their skirts.

Courtney Cox, aka Courtney Simpson
If you don't recognize the name, it might be easier if I just say, "The ASU cheerleader who went into porn. (moderately safe for work)" Some of her titles include: "Double Dutch," "Da Vagina Code" "Frathouse F*ckfest #4" and "Honey, I Blew Up Your P*ssy, #8." She even appeared in one of her videos wearing her ASU uniform, which I don't have to tell you, is all kinds of awesome. A search for her name on one video site reveals 150 titles, which I believe makes her the most successful career woman in the history of Arizona State.

The Louisville Cheerleader Who Mistakenly Trusted Her Boyfriend
I believe Rebecca Manns' story that she never intended for these pics (not even remotely safe for work) to make their way into the public. By most accounts, she took these photos for her boyfriend and after a fight or breakup, he retaliated by putting them on the internet. Honestly, in this era of ubiquitous digital cameras, I'm surprised this doesn't happen on a daily basis. The University responded to these photos by kicking her off the squad and out of school, which is preposterous. Her parents have sued to have her reinstated, but I don't know the results of that lawsuit. I'd like to let Ms. Manns know that if Louisville administrators continue to be unreasonable, I'd be more than happy to home school her.

Cheerleaders Who Became Glamour Models.
Notice a trend here? Clothes come off, and you're a virtual lock for the HOF. Danielle Gamba was a Raiderette until nude pictures of her were discovered, upon which she was dismissed from the squad. Her firing demonstrated that Al Davis' horrendous personnel decisions extend to all realms of the organization. Bonnie Jill-Laflin cheered for the LA Lakers, Golden State Warriors, Dallas Cowboys, and San Francisco 49ers (she even has a Super Bowl ring!) before finding her true calling as a model for Mystique Magazine. She is now an assistant scout for the Los Angeles Lakers, no doubt reporting directly to Jerry Buss.

Cheerleaders Who Achieved TV Stardom.
Paula Abdul went from Laker girl to dancing with an animated cat, to the crazy, "prescription" drug-addled American Idol judge she is today. Before she was ravaged by father time, Teri Hatcher was once a Gold Rush Girl for the Niners. Stacy Keibler used her skills developed as a Ravens cheerleader to become one of the most popular girls in the WWE and is now a professional movie premiere attendee. Katie Couric, Sandra Bullock, Calista Flockhart, and Halle Berry were all high school cheerleaders.

These are but a few of the girls who have contributed to the lore of the all mighty cheerleader. I can't wait to see their busts in the hall of fame.

Erin Andrews is Dazzling

For those that missed it Saturday night, ESPN finally relented to the demands of all my letters and emails and dug up some old footage of Erin Andrews from her days as a Florida Dazzler.



It's pretty much like I had always imagined it would be. Except at the end, she doesn't slowly pull off her top and dance on my lap.

Picture Pages

For some reason, Blogger is being really pesky with letting me upload pictures to my server, which is why there are no photos attached to my latest post. To make up for that, I've created a quick photo album from some snaps I took during the game last night. More accurately, they are photos I took during the dead-ball situations and pregame. So there isn't much in the way of in-game shots, but that doesn't mean there aren't action shots. (hint, hint: USC's song girls did make the trip.)