Nightcap: Things Still Look Good For The Celtics

Tonight's nightcap is brought to you by Ben and Jerry's Dublin Mudslide. Today was free cone day at B & J's, which while not as good as free BJ day at Coney's, still provided some much needed relief, given the 90+ degree temperatures here in LA...

The NBA has announced that Kevin Garnett will not face any punishment for his actions during a heated staring contest with Zaza Pachulia, despite shoving official Ed Rush during the incident. The question is: Which conspiracy theory does this inaction from the commissioner's office bolster more- that Stern is intent on sending Boston to the Finals this year, or that Stern was intent on giving the championship to San Antonio last year (by virtue of suspending Diaw and Stoudemire for less grievous behavior)?

There is one thing for certain, which is that David Stern still has a vendetta against Mark Cuban. How else can you explain Stern electing not to suspend Jason Kidd for his foul on Janerro Pargo in game 4? (Although in fairness, the hit Jason put on Pargo was nothing compared to the ones he used to administer to Joumanna, and she always managed to take those in stride.) By keeping Kidd eligible, Stern effectively forced Avery Johnson to play the aging point guard in game 5, thereby assuring that the series would be all but over and Cuban would once again be engaging in the first round walk of shame...

Larry Brown has accepted the position as head coach of the Charlotte Bobcats, meaning both Charlotte and the alma mater of Bobcats' President Michael Jordan- University of North Carolina- are going to be led by former University of Kansas head coaches. Hopefully this is part of a larger trend, and soon, the Carolina Panthers will be coached by current Kansas head coach and mass of humanity, Mark Mangino. That would be a nice change for the organization, as finally all of the "eating out" jokes would refer to someone other than the Carolina cheerleaders...

Mindy McCready said she could not dispute any of the claims made in the NY Daily News which reported that she engaged in a 10 year affair with pitcher Roger Clemens which began when she was only 15. Clemens has responded that Mindy obviously misremembers the events and must have them confused with a Cinemax movie that Roger had discussed with her one evening...

In other baseball-ish news, I'm becoming concerned that my college savings plan of stocking up on Phil Hughes rookie cards was a poor investment strategy (tho unfortunately, not really that much worse than any other US investments these days). Hughes gave up 6 earned runs in 3 2/3 innings Tuesday to push his ERA to an even 9.00. He's about two more bad starts away from joining Gregg Jeffries and Danny Tartabull in my collection of can't miss prospects gone awry. Maybe I should buy some Max Schenzer cards if I want to give the Padres or Dodgers any chance in the west this year?

Finally, Randy Moss says that he intends to start up his own NASCAR team and plans on competing in the 2009 season. Hey Randy- have you ever seen cars race in a circle before? Have you seen cars race in a circle...on weed?

The Nightcap

Tonight's Nightcap is being brought to you by Coors Light. We'll save a cold one for you, coach.

I'll always remember Bill Walsh for his class, his intellect, and for making me cry as a little kid when his Niners beat my team on the way to the Super Bowl. That was the one and only time I cried over a NFL game- at least one that I didn't have money on...

Even in his final day, Bill Walsh showed that he was able to get things out of players that other people just couldn't do. Why today, to honor his coach, Joe Montana actually made an appearance on television without requesting an exorbitant sum of cash for his time...

Now the hopes of the franchise lie with Frank Gore, who shrewdly broke his hand in camp Monday in order to protect himself from blowing out a knee before the season begins. That was a veteran move...

Another veteran move reportedly being made today is the departure of Kevin Garnett from Minnesota to Boston in exchange for everything on the Celtics roster not named Allen or Pierce and a few draft picks. I'm uncertain of the long-term ramifications of the deal, but the immediate fall-out of the trade will be a never ending barrage of orgasmic columns from Bill Simmons. This should be fun...

In a mangled analogy, Simmons writes the Celtics moves were "like watching the World Series of Poker and seeing someone say "screw it!" by going all-in with a jack-nine of spades after a flop yielded two more spades. Is it smart to risk everything on the 25-percent chance that you'll get the flush?" I don't know if that cleared up anything for me on the mindset of the Celtics, but it did provide more evidence that Simmons isn't the expert poker player he imagines himself to be. As most poker players can tell you, the odds of hitting the flush in that situation are roughly 35 percent, which in the poker world is oftentimes a huge difference. And he wonders why he was knocked out of at least one World Series of Poker on day 1...

Everyone loves an NBA conspiracy theory, so I'll throw this one out there. The KG trade was orchestrated by David Stern to get people- especially ESPN - to start talking about something other than the Donaghy scandal. In return for the Celtics suddenly having three all-stars on their roster, the commissioner will make certain that the Timberwolves are winners in the 2008 lottery...

Lakers fans cannot be happy about the Celtics becoming a legitimate NBA team again. This is really taking the luster off of those Luke Walton, Derek Fisher, and Chris Mihm signings that Mitch Kupchak masterminded in the offseason...

The Twins traded Luis Castillo to the Mets, which has some people thinking that this means the Twins are now sellers and Torii Hunter is available. That's just not the case. Hearing that Castillo has been traded and concluding that the Twins are starting a firesale would be like seeing a VCR on sale at Best Buy and concluding that they're going out of business. It's just a case of an organization getting rid of some obsolete merchandise...

Finally, in a long, painful turn of events, Daunte Culpepper has announced that he was not able to come to an agreement with any NFL teams this year. Instead, he is looking to sign with the Oakland Raiders.

The Sublime Genius of Jim Leyland

It's only July, but the Tigers just got themselves one step closer to the world series; and they did it by losing.

If the current standings hold to form, the Tigers and Angels would face each other in the first round of the playoffs (Red Sox vs Indians would be the other matchup.) Last weekend, the Detroit Tigers had a three game set with the Anaheim Angels. At the time, the Angels were reportedly considering various trade proposals with the Rangers that would land them Mark Teixeira. However during those negotiations, the Angels went on one of the most prolific offensive surges of their franchise's history, scoring 34 runs en route to a three game sweep of the Tigers. That production convinced Angels GM Bill Stoneman that his team's offense would be fine with the likes of Garret Anderson and Casey Kotchman protecting Vladimir Guerrero. The Angels bowed out of the race for Teixeira, who went to the Braves, and the Tigers now have a first round bye in the playoffs.

It's far-fetched to suggest that the Tigers willingly tanked the Angels series, but it is interesting to note that in the games immediately following the sweep, the Angels were shutout on four hits (Anderson and Kotchman a combined 0 for 8) by the Mariners and the Tigers gave a pitcher named Tata a win in his major league debut as Detroit beat the A's, 5-2.

That Jim Leyland is a wily old dog.