Most college students spend their spring break in beach cities, drinking, partying, and having pictures taken that will eventually resurface on the internet. Florida QB Tim Tebow is not your ordinary college student. He spent his spring break touring impoverished villages in the Philippines as part of his family's "Gain Salvation, Lose Your Foreskin" missionary work.

More than 250 people underwent medical and dental procedures, some of them from "Dr. Tebow," who has no formal surgical training.

"The first time, it was nerve-racking," he said. "Hands were shaking a little bit. I mean, I'm cutting somebody. You can't do those kinds of things in the United States. But those people really needed the surgeries. We needed to help them."...

Tebow helped with the last few circumcisions, growing more comfortable with each one.

"I got a kick watching him," Bob Tebow said. "He did a great job, and he didn't look really nervous. I wouldn't let him cut on me, but he did well and helped where there was a need."

I wouldn't let him cut on me...but some poor, foreign kids? Why the hell not? I'm a little disappointed that Tebow even had to use a scalpel. I would have thought that the Heisman winner would have only needed to scowl at the penises and the foreskin would have leapt off in fright.

Making the boys more presentable for future work in porn wasn't the only task at hand for the mission. After locals heard a brief Christian sermon, they were given a physical, had any cysts or rotten teeth removed, and were given needed much medical supplies. The demand for their services was so great that the mission had to turn away roughly 50 people at sundown. By the end of the day, most villagers returned home a little healthier, not quite as heatheny, and just little less sheathed than when they arrived.

Just another remarkable performance for the growing legend that is Tim Tebow.

(H/T: Wizard of Odds)

Labels: Feel Good Stories, Florida, Longest Headline Ever

Before I make my picks for today, has anyone else noticed that the website for the company that covers the Final Four (sportsline.com) has the worst analysis of the games themselves? Dennis Dodd and Michael Freeman have written a series of amateur articles that really add no value leading up to the game itself. On the flip-side, espn.com, while usually mocked by bloggers such as myself, has been extraordinary in their coverage, breaking down the game from every angle, as well as giving the games a historical perspective as well as projecting forward into the nba draft. Heck, even Bill Simmons' blog has been a pretty good read. (It's amazing how much better his writing has become since he stopped resenting being "just" a blogger and began to embrace his role.) I just thought I'd give some credit where it was due.

As for my picks, I have personal interests clouding my view. Whenever that happens, I retreat back to my comfort zone- gambling. (Note: I'm not really that great of a sports' bettor, but at least it's comfortable.) Assuming I had access to a sportsbook (but really Feds, there's no need to investigate that), here's where my money would lie:

Ohio State +1 vs Georgetown.
Neither of these teams have looked dominant on their way to the Final Four, as both have had to rally from 2nd half deficits in their last two games. This game is being billed as Oden vs Hibbert, but I think the backcourt is where this game will be decided; and that's where the Buckeyes have the edge. While Hibbert and Oden neutralize each other, Mike Conley Jr, Ron Lewis and Daequan Cook will be the difference makers in this one.
Ohio State 70, Georgetown 62

Florida -3 vs UCLA
If Ben Howland insists on double-teaming Joakim Noah everytime he touches the ball, this game will be over by halftime. Noah is a pass-first forward who is taller than anyone who will double him. When UCLA runs a second defender at him, the game becomes too easy for the Gators. If UCLA plays him straight up, then the game just comes down to which way the whistle blows, as Lorenzo Mata, Alfred Aboya, and Luc Richard Mbah a Moute have all had troubles with fouls against big men. If UCLA plays the perfect game, they can beat Florida, but that's asking a lot for a team that's travelled across country to play what amounts to a Florida home game.
Florida 73, UCLA 64

You knew I couldn't actually pick the Bruins, right? While I'm not the most superstitious person on the planet, I'm not completely devoid of it either.

One thing is certain- win or lose- I'll be drinking heavily tonight. It's just a question of whether it's in celebration or drowning sorrows. Cheers.

Labels: Florida, Gambling, Georgetown, NCAA Basketball, Ohio State, UCLA

With the Dow down over 400 points today, today's Nightcap is being brought to you by Pabst Blue Ribbon. I just hope there's a little bounceback tomorrow, or I'm going to have to start buying Keystone by the case, which is a fate no one over 19 should ever have to suffer. Can a brutha get a GoogleAd click?

By now everyone has probably heard about the Heidi Fleiss wannabee who is releasing a book which contains rather explicit details about the proclivities of her clientèle, including one Tommy Lasorda. Lasorda is of course refuting the allegations and hasn't been this pissed off since someone asked him about Kurt Bevacqua. I'm ticked off too. Not because someone has planted the image of Tommy Blue Balls receiving a hummer while watching lesbian porn, tho that certainly wasn't pleasant. No, I'm ticked off because Madams are supposed to have a code. Trust me, I watch a lot of Cinemax so I should know. The privacy of the client is to be protected at all costs. But now by publishing this book, Miss Gibson is messing up the program for all the other wealthy dudes with a boner and a fetish. If an athlete can't trust an upscale whorehouse, then he'll just save a few bucks and go to strip joints, night clubs, or good old street hookers instead. Ask Pacman Jones, Willis McGahee, or Denny Neagle (do not click if you ever want to have an erection again) how well that worked out.

If Miss Gibson really wants to publish something useful, she should release detailed instructions for her "swirly move" that relaxes the throat muscles so a woman can peform deep throat. That document should be the cover story in the next editions of Cosmo, Us Weekly, and Martha Stewart Living and then placed in every hair and nail salon in America...

Here's a painful segue. Tuesday night in Knoxville, Pat Summitt made good on her promise to do something special for the men's team and showed her school spirit by wearing a modest cheer uniform, singing "Rocky Top," and performing a cheer stunt. Honestly, I thought it was pretty cool, tho I wasn't quite as enthused as Dick Vitale. She not only showed people that she has a little bit of a wild side (I'm thinking she's a whips and chains gal), but she also laid to rest any lingering theories that the coach was actually a drag queen. Not that she showed any lady parts, but because she can't sing worth a damn. If she really were a man in women's clothing, she would have been belting out "Rocky Top" like Ethel Merman on a USO tour.

For those who watched the Florida/Tennessee game, you were treated to multiple shots of Peyton Manning in attendance (who made sure to mention the word "team" approximately 354 times in his courtside interview with Heather Cox). When the Volunteers completed their upset victory over the Gators, ESPN announcer Brad Nessler responded to a camera shot of Peyton Manning by narrating, "And Peyton says, 'That's the way we used to do it in football too.'" Umm, maybe with Tee Martin at the helm, Brad. Peyton Manning however, was 0-3 as a starter against the Gators, and 0-4 overall...

Gary Matthews Jr is among those at the center of an investigation into a drug distribution ring wherein steroids, HGH and other prescription drugs were sold over the internet. Of course since it's a baseball-related story (there was a pretty significant implication of the Steelers as well, but the NFL has Teflon when it comes to steroid scandals) that's involved with performance enhancers, the conversation of course eventually goes to Barry Bonds, the poster child of the steroid era in baseball. I was bored by the "Barry is a cheater" mock outrage last season, and nothing has really changed this year. I am however continually fascinated by the Bonds defenders (not the apologists, but the ones that have convinced themselves that Barry Bonds never used performance enhancers in the first place) that without fail find their way onto any large message board whenever Bonds' name is brought up. I swear, if I'm ever arrested for something and have to stand trial, I want my attorney to ask potential jurors one question: "Are you a Giants fan?" Because if they can believe that Barry is innocent, they'll believe anyone is innocent.

On a related note, this huge sting operation on prescription drugs being illegally ordered over the internet: that's not going to have any impact on the availability of low cost Viagra online, is it? No reason, just curious.

Labels: Cheaters, Florida, Nightcap, Sexed Out Athletes, Tennessee

These last few weeks of the regular season always receive extra attention, as it's generally perceived that this is the time that teams start coming together and taking their games to the next level in anticipation of the big dance. However last year, Florida lost three games in a row in late February (at Arkansas, vs Tennessee, at Alabama) before catching fire and winning 11 in a row en route the championship. So maybe I shouldn't too much stock in the last few weeks. Still, I'm sure most coaches would prefer that their teams were peaking around this time. With that said, here are three teams on the rise and three teams that picked a bad time to struggle as March Madness approaches:

Gellin'

Kansas
All season long, any discussion of the elite teams has always focused on five schools- Florida, Ohio State, North Carolina, Wisconsin, and UCLA. In that regard, Kansas at #6 has been flying under the radar. Since losing to Texas A&M at the beginning of the month, Kansas is 6-0 and has won their games by a combined score of 516-343 (average margin of victory: 28.8 points). The Jayhawks are in my opinion the best offensive team in the country, having broken the 90 point mark six times this season and boasting five players who average scoring in double figures. Kansas has one road game left at Oklahoma before hosting Texas in the season finale. Wins there combined with a good showing in the tournament, and Kansas might be able to steal a #1 seed.

Georgetown
Much like last year, I can already tell that I'm going to advance the Hoyas too far in my bracket and get burned. Georgetown has won eleven Big East games in a row, most of them in convincing fashion. I love watching John Thompson's team play, with their athletic version of the Princeton offense combined with a very aggressive defense. When they're playing well, they can beat any team in the country; and they're playing exceptional basketball right now. The brackets aren't even out, and I'm talking myself into putting them into the Final Four (beating Ohio State to advance in a great matchup of Oden vs Hibbert).

UCLA
At the beginning of the month, I would have projected UCLA as a sweet 16 team, but not necessarily Final Four. However the last two months, the Bruins have elevated their game on the offensive end and are a legitimate threat to cut down the nets in Atlanta. The biggest difference between this team now and a few weeks ago has been their inclusion of the big men into the offensive gameplan. Lorenzo Mata and Luc Richard Mbah a Moute have both become viable threats to the point that Arron Afflalo now sets interior picks to free up the post players for an entry pass. Add into the mix that Josh Shipp has started attacking the rim again, and you've got a team that is suddenly very difficult to defend. The only downside for the Bruins is that UCLA has been a notoriously slow starter this year and they do still go through stretches when they're stagnant on the offensive end. I'm sure those will be areas of emphasis in the last remaining games and the Pac-10 tournament.

Slippin'

Wisconsin
The Badgers have lost two in a row and have been held to 55 and 48 points in those two games. The good news is that this is a team full of veteran players and they shouldn't let these two games affect them too much. The bad news is that they've likely lost Brian Butch for the rest of the year as the result of a gruesome dislocated elbow (I'll post the clip soon), and Alando Tucker is 11 for his last 30 from the field. As an aside, I'd like to relay something a commenter at Sportsline.com pointed out. Sunday, in what was a brutal piece even by his own low standards, Gregg Doyel wrote about the Badgers,
"The Badgers weren't good enough to win the national title -- period -- and that was before cryin' Brian Butch left Sunday's game with an elbow injury that might end his third consecutive disappointment of a season. The Badgers can make do without Butch's soft play and yucky body."

Yucky? Really? Anyway that directly contradicts what Doyel wrote last December in a column about players that had been surprisingly good:

"Brian Butch, Wisconsin: He's no project anymore. He's a player."

So how exactly is this a third consecutive disappointing season exactly? And mocking a college junior for crying after a brutal injury was absolutely classless.

North Carolina
The Tar Heels are young, so some ups and downs are to be expected. But a lot of the other top teams are young as well. Kansas' five top scorers are three sophomores and two freshmen. Ohio State is led by freshmen Greg Oden and Mike Conley, Jr. UCLA had no seniors at senior day. At any rate, losing three of seven games is reason for concern. Here are a few postgame quotes after North Carolina lost to Maryland Sunday night:

"This is very frustrating," North Carolina center Tyler Hansbrough said. "We can't crumble whenever the game gets tight. We have to be tough."

"We lacked focus. We didn't convert the way we should down the stretch," forward Reyshawn Terry said. "We had another breakdown. We keep hitting the same wall. It's making me a little nervous, honestly."

Obviously, these are not the words of a confident team, and confidence is a key element at this point in the season.

Florida
On the other side of the confidence spectrum is the Florida Gators who appear to be overconfident right now. Either that or they're just bored with the regular season and are waiting for the NCAA tournament to begin. But while that mentality might work in pro basketball (example: any team that's had Shaq on it), it's very dangerous in the college game. Just ask last year's UConn team. Florida has lost two of their last three games, and I anticipate that they won't win the SEC tournament. However, they'll still get a high seed in the NCAA tournament, and at that point, it will be up to them to "flip the switch" if they want to repeat as champions. Florida still has the best starting five in America, so I'm not counting them out by any means; but if I had to make a prediction, I see this them getting upset in the elite 8.

For what it's worth, here are my current power rankings:

1. UCLA - Afflalo playing like a champion before leaving for the NBA
2. Kansas - Looking more and more like this year's version of Florida
3. Ohio State - It feels like they've underachieved, yet they'll be ranked #1 in this week's polls. Not too shabby.
4. Florida - Taking their abilities for granted right now.
5. North Carolina - Nothing will surprise me with this team in the tournament. They could lose in the first round as a #2 seed or they could win it all.
6. Texas A&M - Big statement game at Texas this Wednesday.
7. Georgetown - Hibbert could use the tournament to become a lottery pick.
8. Memphis - Like Nevada, it's hard to evaluate this team given the competition in their conference.
9. Wisconsin - Have shot 35% their last two games. It's a bad time to go cold.
10.Texas - Every #1 seed should be scared to death of facing the Longhorns early.

Labels: Florida, Georgetown, Kansas, NCAA Basketball, Ohio State, UCLA, UNC, Wisconsin