YouTube Is The Godsend Of The Lazy Blogger

First there was Kareem Abdul Jabbar in Game of Death:



Then there was Shaquille O'Neal in Steel (video thankfully unavailable).

And now, making the transition from Big Man to Big Screen, here comes Sun Ming Ming:



Apropos of nothing, Chris Tucker reportedly was paid as much as $25 mil + 20% of the gross to make Rush Hour 3. Suddenly, ARod's contract demands of upwards of $30 million a season seem perfectly reasonable...

NBA GMs Make It Rain When the Free Agent Dance Begins

It's been a busy week in the NBA. Here's a quick recap of some of the bigger deals that went down recently:

Orlando signs Rashard Lewis to max deal (roughly 5 yr, $75 mil.)

Positives: In the diluted East, Rashard Lewis and Dwight Howard become a diluted version of Kobe and Shaq. This deal likely will prohibit Orlando from re-signing Darko Milicic, which I view as a net positive. The Orlando fan base just finished the Grant Hill experience, so they're well accustomed to their team being saddled with overblown onerous contracts.

Negatives: Rashard Lewis isn't much better than Gerald Wallace, who could have been had for less money. Lewis never emerged as a leader in Seattle, so it's difficult to imagine him elevating his game in Orlando. Once Howard signs his 5 year, $80 million-ish deal, that's going to be a good chunk of Orlando's cap space eaten up by two players for the next five years, making it difficult to add any complementary veterans.

Boston trades #5 pick to Seattle for Ray Allen

Negatives: He's about to turn 32, has only a few years remaning in his prime, and will be playing for a team that already has an outside shooter in Paul Pierce. Boston probably should have concentrated on youth and building through the draft, but instead wanted to appease one veteran by signing another.

Positives: Boston fans can take consolation in the topless pics (nsfw) of Rebecca Gayheart that surfaced recently. Like Ray Allen, the ideal time to have Gayheart would have been 10+ years ago in her Noxzema days, but Gayheart shows that just because you're in your 30s and can't drive doesn't mean you've lost all of your game.


Seattle hires former Spurs' employees Sam Presti and PJ Carlisimo to be their braintrust

Positive: If you're going to pick a team to emulate, the Spurs are the best candidate out there.

Negatives: Putting Nick Collison at the 4/5 slot and calling yourself "Spurs Northwest" is like putting red bathing suits on the cast of The View and calling yourself Baywatch A.M.

Toronto Raptors sign Jason Kapono to 4 year, $24 million deal.

Positives: Toronto desperately needed some reliable outside shooting to complement Chris Bosh's inside game. 51% from three point land is certainly reliable. With the experience of having played four years under Steve Lavin, Kapono should have no problem adjusting to Sam Mitchell's tendency to struggle in playoff games.

Negatives: Potential family issues could arise. Judging by these pictures of her (the one w/ curly hair and Kapono forehead) recently posted to a message board, Kapono's sister Jillian is going to be pissed that visiting her brother now means a trip to Toronto rather than the clubbing mecca that is Miami. (note: I can't confirm that the first picture is her, however it was found in the same set.)

Saban Officially Alabama Coach - BankRoll Tide!

Last year, players on the teams participating in the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl received a watch, wallet, iPod, and Chick-Fil-A calendar, and a few small souvenirs in their gift package. Not bad for an above-board gift to a college athlete, I suppose. However, if Nick Saban finds himself in the Chick-Fil-A bowl this upcoming season, he'll receive a bonus from the University of Alabama of $90,000.

That is just one of the many terms in the 32 page, eight year, $32 million contract being finalized between Nick Saban and the University of Alabama. Technically speaking, his base salary will only be $225,000 a year. I assume this is designed to fall in line with salary limitations on state employees. However, his contract also includes a "personal service fee" for his radio show which begins at $3.275 million in the first year and escalates to $3.975 per year in the final years of the contract. He also gets use of Alabama's private jet, a 15 seat luxury skybox, and a $50,000 bonus if the graduation rate of his football team is in the top half of the SEC (way to reach for the stars, Tide.) If he's fired for engaging strippers in aggressive sex while they scream "Roll Tide!," or if he flees for another coaching job, he forfeits the remainder of his contract. However if he's fired because he doesn't give Tide fans the win-loss record they were hoping for, he's entitled to the entire 32 mil.

Meanwhile, Alabama quarterback Jimmy Barnes is reportedly transferring to a Div 1-AA school because of the treatment he's received from Nick Saban. According to his father, Barnes was not willing to "give up his dignity" to fall in line with Saban's regime. Saban of course was dismissive of the entire ordeal. Yeah, like the guy in the $4,000 suit has time to deal with a 3rd string quarterback who will never see the field. Come on!

Tyrus Thomas is Dunking for Dollars

I guess when Tyrus Thomas spent his one year at LSU, he had time for an economics class, but never bothered showing up for public relations or communications. When it comes to the all-star game, the NBA might care, but Tyrus Thomas just has his mind on one thing...getting paid:

Perhaps Tyrus Thomas will display more energy and enthusiasm during the slam-dunk contest than he did Monday in discussing his participation.

Asked if he were excited about becoming the first Bull since Scottie Pippen
in 1990 to participate in the event as part of All-Star weekend, Thomas
barely looked up from untying his shoes.

"Not really," Thomas said. "I'm just going to go out there, get my check and
call it a day."

Asked if an opportunity to rub elbows with some of the game's greats could
be beneficial for a rookie, Thomas kept unlacing.

"I'm just into the free money," he said. "That's it. I'll just do whatever
when I get out there."

Thomas makes $3.26 million.

The winner gets $35,000. The runner-up receives $22,500. Third and fourth place are worth $16,125.

It might be a good idea for David Stern to put an arm around Tyrus Thomas and explain to the rookie that the All-Star events are supposed to be for the fans- the same fans that pay his salary. So it might behoove him to slap a smile on his face for a day or two and pretend that he gives a damn.

So far this season, Thomas is averaging 3.5 points per game and 2.7 rebounds. It seems like getting free money is his specialty.