Tell Ron Artest About The Rabbits Again

With Bob Barker in retirement, PETA has taken the reigns as the leader in the campaign to convince people to have their pets spayed or neutered. They've launched an ad campaign that has featured John McEnroe, model Dita Van Teese, and their latest spokesperson...Ron Artest! Yes, in their search for the right person to deliver a message on treating animals humanely, PETA opted to go with a guy who was recently accused of animal cruelty. This video appears to have been filmed last summer, but according to PETA, the campaign itself is new:



(For a clearer version of this video, check out PETA's official blog, "The PETA Files." By the way, I think it's a reflection of the insular nature of the organization that PETA doesn't realize their blog is a play on words for child molesters.)

Edited from this clip is Ron looking at his pooch, John Henry, and saying, "Did you know that you have to feed your doggies too? I thought they could just hunt for their own."

To be fair, it's possible that Ron Artest's dog sitter was to blame for neglecting his dogs for a month. Also Ron-Ron sounds very sincere when he talks about volunteering in an animal shelter to "pet the doggies." Actually, as erudite reader JSon pointed out to me, he sounds a lot like Lennie Small, the mentally deficient but good-hearted farmhand from "Of Mice and Men" who dreams of living off the fat of the land and tending to his rabbits. Artest actually comes off as sympathetic if you imagine him hanging out in one of Sacramento's many farms and believing he has a chance for a championship on that team of D-leaguers (sorry, Quincy Douby).

The conspiracy theorist would note that David Stern has been influenced by PETA in the past when he experimented with switching from a leather to a synthetic ball for a few months. As Artest has had many run-ins with Stern (including a recent suspension after allegations of domestic abuse), it's possible that Artest agreed to do this spot to earn favor with the commissioner. This actually makes sense. Stern has lost control of the media and the owners, but at least he can still bully around a couple of players to make himself feel powerful. Maybe next week, he can get Carmelo Anthony to talk about how flying to Paris is easier than traveling to god-forsaken Seattle,

All Animals Are Equal, But Some Animals Are More Equal Than Others

This weekend at Pimlico, horse racing enthusiasts and mentally imbalanced people across America all honored the memory and legacy of Barbaro, the horse that inspired a nation by living for eight months in pain after breaking down at The Preakness. The passion displayed for the fallen champion was both disturbing and bewildering, and perhaps even a bit endearing. No actually, I'm sticking with just disturbing and bewildering.

While Barbaro's fight for survival eventually came to an end, the compassion demonstrated by his followers certainly must have endured. So when just minutes after Barbaro's name was ceremonially honored at Pimlico, a five year-old stallion named Mending Fences broke down on the very same track, you would expect enthusiasts to embrace this fallen horse as a new life to fight for. A second chance to win the battle. There would be cards and letter sent to Mending Fences' hospital. Poems and dances would be composed in his name. His struggle would be our struggle, and together we would transcend any of the other petty differences that clutter our day - like actual human suffering.

Or maybe not.

"The horse was put down," Pimlico vice president Mike Gathagan said. A green screen was put up in front of the stallion to shield the procedure from a stunned crowd of more than 100,000.

I guess if you're a horse lover, survival is only worth the fight if you've got extremely valuable jizz.