Notes From the Hardwood- College Edition

Considering that for the first 20 minutes of the game, the only ones looking good in a UCLA jersey were the cheerleaders, this was a very gritty win for the Bruins. Now I have to get tickets for UCLA's next home game so I can watch them hang that O'Reilly Auto Parts CBE Classic Championship banner in the rafters of Pauley Pavilion.

Dick Vitale was struck with laryngitis this week. He apologized to the viewers for it, but in my opinion, it was the best broadcasting of his career.

It's a very weird phenomenon to hear Dick Vitale on the UCLA bandwagon. I guess all the Bruins needed was a white big man to make then more UNC/Duke-like to win Vitale's favor.

Kevin Love looks like he'll be a great college player, but it's very difficult to project him into the NBA. One thing is for certain. Whenever Love does submit his name for the NBA draft, he'll be the first player that Jay Bilas won't be able to describe him as "long." Has anyone described an NBA prospect as "stumpy" before?

Bad news for Bruins fans- it looks like Florida is still good, even though their roster is comprised almost entirely of freshmen and sophomores. Crap.

The Wooden Classic got a nice little boost when it's dog of an undercard, SDSU vs The Australian National Team (also known as St. Mary's), suddenly got a bit of cache once the Gaels upset #11 Oregon. It was a little tough to tell on ESPNU's handheld camcorder feed, but as an added bonus, it looked like St. Mary's had some attractive cheerleaders as well. Catholic Schoolgirl Cheerleaders- they're not just on the Spice Channel anymore.

Not a good week to be an Oregon Ducks fan. First they lose Dennis Dixon and their BCS hopes and now they find out that their basketball team isn't as good as they thought they were. On the plus side, these defeats should be categorized as "severe pain," one of the conditions which in the state of Oregon warrant the legal use of medical marijuana. Rosie Perez was right. Sometimes when you lose, you actually win.

Duke looks like they're back this season, thanks to a good freshman class and improved play from Gerald Henderson. I sure hope ESPN will give them some exposure now.

There will be quite a bit of basketball on TV during the Thanksgiving holiday. The matchups might not seem that intriguing right now, but it still beats explaining to relatives why you don't have a job, girlfriend, or legitimate children. So enjoy, all!

The Search For Young Talent Never Ends

With the NBA draft starting in a few hours, it's a little late for me to put a mock draft up. My only prediction is that when everything is over, Arron Afflalo may wish he'd stayed for his senior year at UCLA. If you need more picks, I'm pretty sure you can find one or two mocks somewhere on the internet. One of the more entertaining mocks was posted yesterday by Chad Ford and Bill Simmons on ESPN.com. They combined logical picks with some pretty good banter to make for a very enjoyable column. Maybe that's what Simmons needs now to keep things fresh- someone to volley with who will also call him on some of his recycled material.

One of the draft evaluations that stood out to me was this analysis of Greg Oden by Ford:

"Taking Oden is like marrying the girl you don't want to date, but the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with. She's responsible. She looks out for you. She helps you be the best person you can be. She's not hot on the outside. But inside she makes your life worth living."

My first thought was that I hope his wife doesn't read his columns. One also has to wonder if his logic for draft evaluations extends to other areas of his life. Perhaps he'll also scout potential dating prospects for his son:

"Only measured out as a B cup, but with that frame, has the potential to develop into a full C."

"A sexy pick, although real age remains a concern."

"Lacks experience, but shows early signs of promise and is very coachable."

"Very impressive ball handling skills."

"Foreign exchange student, so the data on her is limited, but I'm always intrigued by Czech girls."

"Lacks ideal looks, but is willing to do all the dirty work."

"Drug history and family issues have caused her to already make the rounds with many different suitors, but she might still be attractive for someone looking to fill a need."

"Willingness to take on the double-team is both intriguing and concerning at same time."

"The consensus #1 on campus, but will cost too much to keep for the long haul if you have salary cap issues."

Jerry Buss Don't Need His Mamba No Mo

Now that Kobe Bryant has gone 24 straight hours without retracting his latest trade demand, I feel it's somewhat safe to actually discuss it. It's hard for me to imagine Kobe sitting out the entire season, which is really the only leverage he has until 2008. But I guess I wouldn't put it past him to pull a Vince Carter and just give 50% effort and fake some injuries until the Lakers relent and trade him. The problem for the Lakers is that it's impossible to get fair value in return for any deal involving Kobe.

Or at least it was until Lakers' scouts stumbled across an unknown diamond in the rough. Expect to hear an announcement in the next few days. Kobe Bryant will be traded to Chuck E Cheese's in exchange for this guy:

Yeah, that's 1,000 points right there. Try to slow that down, Greg Popovich.

David Stern With a Racist Freudian Slip?

Earlier today on espn.com, NBA commissioner David Stern hosted a brief chat (insider only) in the SportsNation. The initial portion of the chat dealt with the fallout from the Joey Crawford suspension. However Stern being the evil genius that he is, it quickly morphed into a NBA public relations session. At one point, someone from the NBA offices posed as Nathan from Milwaukee and gave David Stern this softball question:

Nathan: Milwaukee, WI: What do you feel is your biggest accomplishment since becoming commissioner in 1984?

SportsNation David Stern: I think in conjunction with our players and owners we have grown the sport to a place where people thought it couldn't get. Particularly, because, as observed in the 80s comment, it has become a predominately African-American sport (emphasis mine). But we showed in the context of sport it is about the competition and not the skin color. That makes me proud and happy for the NBA.

Ok, seems innocuous enough. Obviously, Stern is just trying to piggy-back off of the recent Jackie Robinson storyline in baseball. However upon reviewing the previous questions, here is the only "80s comment" that Stern could possibly be referring to, which was asked three questions prior to the "biggest accomplishment" inquiry:

Steven (NYC): Mr. Stern, what do you think of Roger Goodell's stance on the NFL's off-field issues? It reminds me a lot of the NBA's crackdown of drugs in the '80s

SportsNation David Stern: This is a subject we all constantly look at. We have been dealing with players who have been convicted or pled with convictions and the like. I hope the NFL system is successful for them.

So someone mentions the drug problem in the NBA in the 80s, and Stern associates it with the abundance of African-American players in the league. Yikes. Stern already has a well documented agenda of removing the "thug" image from the league, but it was usually rationalized that the commissioner was capitulating to corporate interests, and - as Billy Hunter put it - "to make the game and players more appealing to the red states." However, this little slip indicates that Stern may be a bit more motivated by his own preconceived notions of black culture than was originally suspected.

Who's Got Next?

If you ever wanted to play pro basketball, now would be a good time to send a few select GMs and coaches your game tapes. With the season nearing a close, teams are fighting for lottery ping pong balls, and the last thing they want to do is risk winning a few games by playing their starters. In Boston, Doc Rivers left his starters on the bench and watched as his second string players blew a 17 point, 2nd half lead to Charlotte. In Milwaukee, Andrew Bogut and Charlie Villanueva both have nagging injuries which they could play through if the team were in contention for the playoffs. However since the only thing they're contending for is Kevin Durant, the Bucks have decided to shelve both players for the remainder of the season.

Boston and Milwaukee play each other twice in April, and losing those games could have a major impact on the future of their franchise. There's no way that a coach wants to risk giving minutes to any players that could actually score a few points. So here's a golden opportunity for any intramural or rec league player that's ever dreamed of undressing in a NBA locker room. Just show up to a practice and see if you can get a 10 day contract. Heck, if David Noel and Brian Scalabrine can get double digit minutes, then why not you?