Monday, March 09, 2009

Michael Eisner Is Hoping Kids Will Let Ryan Howard Take A Few Strokes On Their Hands

The sports trading card industry has been dying a long, slow death. Anyone who thought they were going to retire with a closet full of Gregg Jefferies and Ken Griffey Jr rookie cards can tell you that. (Although right now, those cards might be worth more than their 401k.) Ever since Michael Eisner bought Topps in 2007, he's been looking for a way to make cards relevant again. Given his entertainment background, he's making the same move that desperate franchises like Friday the 13th and Amityville made. He's going 3-D. Hitting stores today will be Topps 3D Live, a set of baseball cards that seem like standard cards at first, but when held up to a webcam, will spring to virtual life:

Kind of cool, in a "Star Wars chess game" kind of way. But this series is marketed towards kids who won't have that sense of nostalgia; and it's hard to envision kids wanting to press "N" to throw a pitch at a target when they could they pick up their Wii Super Slam Bat and take a few hacks themselves.

So that just leaves adult men as potential buyers. But these packs are priced at two bucks a pop, and even in this economy, collectors believe that if they're going to get a 50 cent card, they want to pull it from a $100 pack. Still, I could see these filling a niche role for guys. For anyone with a webcam in their cubicle, these players could serve as a great little time-killer during conference calls. Also, these cards could be a big hit in the home of Yankees fans, who could get undressed, put their Derek Jeter card on the webcam, and finally fulfill all of those fantasies with the captain of their hearts. Just beware of virtual herpes.

Hmmm...maybe these virtual cards do have some potential. But rather than picking up a pack of Topps, I'm going to have to wait for Benchwarmer to license the technology.

Now that's worth two bucks a pop.

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Wednesday, February 04, 2009

MLB Trainers Are Relentless In Their Conspiracy To Sabotage Hall Of Fame Players

Tuesday night, it was revealed that a 2003 urine sample from Barry Bonds had been retested by federal authorities and was found to be positive for performance enhancing drugs. This result confirms what most baseball fans have already known to be true for quite sometime- that Greg Anderson, Victor Conte, and the government are all in collusion to undermine the legacy of Barry Bonds. First they sabotaged his flaxseed, then his aspercreme, and now his urine. Obviously, nothing is sacred to these evildoers.

Similarly, Roger Clemens has found himself under the microscope, literally, as syringes kept in an old beer can by his former trainer Brian McNamee have shown to contain DNA matching Clemens' genetic profile. In an exclusive only seen here, The Lounge has obtained a sample of the DNA in question, and the results are rather damning:

Obviously, we know that Clemens was framed since he already told Congress that he never used steroids. And that was under oath, so it must have been the truth. But it appears that if a UCLA doping lab finds evidence of performance enhancers in those same syringes, then Clemens will once again find himself in court looking to clear his name.

While Clemens is already ably represented by Otis the town drunk Rusty Hardin, I believe it's also my responsibility, being the bastion of integrity that I am, to help The Rocket find justice. With that in mind, here are a few plausible perfectly legal explanations as to how the syringes managed to contain trace amounts of Roger Clemens' blood:

Clemens may have unwittingly left some DNA on his wife Debbie's ass during an afternoon interlude. McNamee then could have scraped that DNA off when he was shooting her up for her SI photoshoot.

McNamee said he was drawing the blood in an attempt to clone The Rocket, as #22 thought it was his only chance to have a kid in the major leagues. I mean, Koby hit .268 in high A for Chrissakes!

The blood didn't get on the needle from an injection, but rather dripped onto it from the empty beer can. One time, McNamee and Clemens were hanging out, drinking beers and decided to hang the empties on their fingers and pretend they were robots. Who hasn't done that, right? Well, Roger got a little carried away and cut his finger, and now that one little misadventure may lead to an errant perjury conviction.

Ok, he did get injected. But it wasn't with athletic performance enhancers. Instead, he asked McNamee to shoot him up with sexual performance enhancers. Hey, it's not easy keeping up with a 15 year-old with a country singer's lungs.

Clemens can't be held responsible for his actions. He was not of sound mind. He couldn't possibly be; he had Icy Hot on his balls!

(By the way, if you'll indulge me in a quick aside: the Icy Hot story is old news. Check out this link. That story's almost three years old. I don't know why people are making a big deal out of it now. In fact, Deadspin "broke" the story last week as if it were new despite the fact that they had featured it themselves the first time around. I swear, sometimes, I almost get the vibe that bloggers don't do any research before writing.)

Finally, as far as I know, Joe Torre hasn't implicated Roger Clemens in his latest book. And he trashed everybody in that thing. So obviously, the man must be innocent.

Hopefully, this should be enough to put Clemens in the clear. And not the kind of clear that Bonds got from Anderson, but the kind that MLB can't pretend to be disgusted at after profiting from its use for over a decade.

It should only be a matter of time before we see Clemens, Barry, and Big Mac in their rightful place- on a dais in Cooperstown... Or signing a autographs at the Forum Shops at Caesar's Palace.

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Tuesday, July 08, 2008

An All Star Game and Old Timers Game All In One

Years ago, Josh Hamilton promised an old high school coach, Clay Council, that if he was ever invited to the home run derby, he'd take the coach with him to be his personal pitcher. Of course, Hamilton was also really, really high at the time. But Hamilton is a man of his word, and so it will be Council who is lobbing pitches to Hamilton during the derby. Did I mention that Council is 71 years old? Seventy-one. When I'm that age, I just hope that I can still operate the remote control on my virtual reality fantasy simulator, and yet this guy is still able to toss it around with the kids. That's impressive. Council has been throwing batting practice in North Carolina for over 30 years- which is just about as long as Trevor Hoffman has been doing the same thing in San Diego.

The All-Star game will be held at Yankee Stadium in honor of the Stadium's final season. Council has been at the stadium once before:

It will be the second visit for Council to Yankee Stadium -- he said the only other game he saw at the venerable ballpark came as a teenager when he watched Don Larsen's perfect game in Game 5 of the 1956 World Series.

I have to admit, that's a pretty cool backstory. The next time Council is tossing the ball around with high school kids, he'll be able to talk about his two visits to the House that Ruth Built. Once, when a pitcher threw the only perfect game in World Series history; and once, when Chris Berman yelled, "back, back, back...gone!" after every home run swing.

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Monday, July 07, 2008

Sabathia And Sheets And Pray For Sleet

If the season were to end today, the Milwaukee Brewers and St. Louis Cardinals would meet in a one game playoff to see who would face the Phillies as the NL Wild Card. Not bad for a team that employs Eric Gagne in the bullpen and only has one decent starting pitcher. Well, now they can make that two starting pitchers, as today the Brew Crew acquired CC Sabathia from the Indians in exchange for top hitting prospect Matt LaPorta.

Sabathia says he is "excited" about the move, and why shouldn't he be? Not only is he going from a team in the cellar to a team competing for a playoff spot, but he also gets to throw against national league lineups for the remainder of the a contract year. Heck, even the Royals starters dominated the NL in interleague- just think of the numbers Sabathia will be able to accumulate over the next few months. He probably made himself another $10-$20 mil over the lifetime of his next contract thanks to this trade.

Even if Sabathia turns out to only be a rental for the Brewers, this deal still makes a lot of sense for Milwaukee. The team hasn't been to the playoffs since 1982. In fact, the last baseball team to make it to the playoffs in Milwaukee was the fictitious Cleveland Indians led by Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn in Major League, which was filmed in Milwaukee County Stadium. The NL is especially weak this year, so now seems like a great time to strike. The Brewers were already in the thick of things with the corpse of Jeff Suppan as their #2 starter. Now he gets bumped down by a motivated Sabathia, and suddenly Milwaukee is a legitimate contender....assuming Gagne isn't renamed the closer.

Of course this deal is not without its risks. Sending CC Sabathia to the land of bratwurst is a dangerous proposition. Plus, there's the possibility that Sabathia could interfere with the chemistry in the locker room. You just know there are going to be a few scuffles between CC and Prince Fielder over who gets first dibs at the clubhouse buffet. But if Ned Yost makes sure there's enough milk and cookies for everyone, then for the first time in their lives, many Brewers fans will be seeing their team in the playoffs. Knowing that's possible is enough to give hope to the fanbase of any team. Except, Pittsburgh or Kansas City, of course.

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Thursday, June 05, 2008

This McLaren Went Zero To Sixty In Under Four Seconds

I consider myself to be somewhat of an avid baseball fan, but if prior to tonight you had asked me me who the current manager of the Seattle Mariners is, the best I could have come up with was, "I know the team gave Mike Hargrove a nervous breakdown, but I have no idea who got suckered into that gig. Is Ichiro a player/manager?"

Turns out the correct answer (for now) is John McLaren, and while he hasn't really been a household name this season, he did manage to make an impression tonight. After being swept by the Angels to fall 15.5 games behind first place, McLaren let reporters know that he's mad as hell and he's not going to take it anymore:

Then he stormed out of the press room- most likely to find Mariner Moose and punch him in the face.

This team is badly in need of a slumpbuster. Unfortunately for them, the Seattle City Council just made that scouting process a little more difficult. Seriously, if you can't console yourself after a tough loss by getting a vanilla soy latte from a barista wearing electrical tape on her nipples, well what's the point of loving baseball anyway?

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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

MLB Cares. At Least For A Day

Today is Earth Day, which means it's time look like we care about the environment, while still doing as little as we can to change the way we live our lives. Major League Baseball is no exception, and today many teams are "going green" for the day. When the Cincinnati Reds host the Los Angeles Dodgers, it will be a carbon-neutral game. Their main effort will be to team with noted environmentalist group Duke Energy to purchase carbon credits. But after doing a little digging around, I've discovered a few more ways that the two teams will be saving the environment, one inning at a time:

Dusty Baker has banned the use of computers amongst all staff members.

Baker will also provide examples of extending the use of personal items by keeping his starting pitcher in the game two innings longer than he should.

With Nomar Garciaparra, Andruw Jones, Juan Pierre, and Jeff Kent at his disposal, Joe Torre has the opportunity to field a lineup that contains up to 44% old, recycled material.

Adam Dunn will save trees with each strikeout, as failing to make contact with the ball prevents any bats from being broken.

Dusty Baker will extend the useage of each toothpick he sucks on in the dugout by switching to 'everlasting peppermint' flavor.

Turnstiles will be connected to a generator, thereby creating clean energy with each person that enters the park. (unfortunately, this method will become ineffective when fans stop coming around mid-July)

The urinals at Great America Ball Park will funnel directly into the Bud Light hoses and food left in the stands will be swept up and ground into the next day's hotdogs.

I can almost see the earth healing as I type. It's great that an organization like MLB is taking the forefront in championing such a cause. I can't wait to see what they do for Prostate Cancer awareness.


Friday, April 18, 2008

You Know It's Getting Late When You're Taping Together A Ram's Head

Here's the rally goat/ram that made its way to the Padres dugout as the People Against Goodness and Normalcy (*bonus points if you actually know that reference) did everything they could to put an end to last night's marathon game:

It's a shame the trophy didn't work. Then the "late night ramming" could have enjoyed such other bestial motivators** in baseball lore as the Rally Monkey, the Happy Beaver, and the Cross-Eyed Panda of Good Fortune.

*-bonus points may be indicator that you watch too many late night movies on Starz, Encore, etc.
**- some items on list may have just been bad hallucinations
***- dear god, i need sleep

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Thursday, March 27, 2008

The Detroit Tigers Cameras Are Directed By Zalman King

As noted earlier today at With Leather, Reanen Maxwell, a former scoreboard operator at Comerica Park has filed a lawsuit against the Detroit Tigers because:

"Tigers photographers routinely shot inappropriate "soft core videos" of female fans at baseball games."

The suit sounds dubious as even using the most conservative definition of "soft core," it's hard to believe that such a practice would go unnoticed in this hypersensitive and hyperhorny culture of ours. My initial instinct was to dismiss the claim as being little more than retaliation from a puritanical (and/or fat,old) former employee. But then I remembered that I still had the 9th inning of Justin Verlander's no-hitter on my Tivo, so I figured I'd rewatch it to see if there was any evidence that the claim might have any merit at all. I was shocked by what I discovered.

The first few crowd shots are pretty standard fare. Fans clapping, old men high-fiving...nothing out of the ordinary here. But if you look real closely and don't blink at the wrong time, you'll notice that after Verlander gets the 2nd out of the ninth, a cameraman does seem to focus in on one woman in particular. See for yourself:

Wow. I mean, I didn't even know Comerica had bedroom suites- these modern ballparks sure are something. I can't even show you what happens after Verlander gets the 3rd out. That footage depicts individual acts of perversion so profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.

Someone should just cut Reanen (Ms. Maxwell, if you're nasty) a check right now.

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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Whither Goest Blackballed Barry?

The first pitches of live spring training games have been thrown, and still Barry Bonds finds himself without a team. Right now, his agent Jeff Borris is traveling from park to park and hoping to sell someone on Barry's still potent stick. It's like he's filming a BangBus movie and trying to see what GM he can persuade to get into the van. Unfortunately for Bonds, so far he has no takers despite the fact that even at age 43, he still got on base 48% of the time he stepped to the plate; and it's now Roger Clemens and not him that's the performance enhancing villain du jour. But as the season gets closer and teams realize that their lineup isn't the machine they'd envisioned in the winter meetings, Bonds should start getting more consideration. Even then, his options will be limited. Here is a look at possible destinations for Barry, listed from least to most likely, by my own guesstimation:

San Diego Padres
Reasons to sign: Right now, the Padres projected left fielder is either Scott Hairston or Chase Headley, who hasn't played in the outfield since college. Bonds has hit more home runs against the Padres than any other team, so maybe there's something about the San Diego parks that bring out the best in him. Tijuana is just a 15 minute drive from the park, making the acquisition of steroids, ephedra, HGH, viagra, etc. a breeze.
Reasons not to sign: While San Diego fans are known to be laid back, Barry Bonds has been one of the few players to elicit actual hatred from the home crowd. San Diegans won't start rooting for Barry just because he's wearing a Padres jersey.
Verdict: Padres fans would rather see an adopted golden retreiver from Petco in left field than Barry Bonds. If Kevin Towers were to sign Bonds, it would likely be his last move as GM.

Texas Rangers
Reasons to sign: According to Sportsline, the Rangers will once again go with Frank Catalanotto at DH and bat him 9th. Ninth...for the designated hitter? Rangers Ballpark is a launching pad in the summertime, and Bonds could give some much needed pop to a relatively anemic lineup. Sammy Sosa played for the Rangers last year, so fans are already accustomed to being asked to cheer for a player who's assumed to have used performance enhancing drugs.
Reasons not to sign: If Bonds were to sign with the Rangers, it would mean that he wouldn't get the chance to face Rangers' pitching.
Verdict: To me, this move seems to make a lot of sense, which means there's no way Tom Hicks will ever do it.

Oakland A's
Reasons to sign: Right now, the A's have a triple A team playing in a crappy stadium, and there is no reason that anyone would want to watch them play. With Bonds, the A's could tap into his Bay Area fan base. In going from San Francisco to Oakland, Bonds would save a ton on shipping costs for his Barcalounger.
Reasons not to sign: Even with an incentive-laden contract, Bonds would still cost money, and the A's are loathe to spend more than minor league money. If attendance plummets further this season, the A's can always just tarp off another section of seats to give the appearance of a denser crowd.
Verdict: Even though Bonds excels in Beane's much coveted metric of on base percentage, the A's appear content to just enjoy profits through revenue sharing without worrying about such nonsense as fielding a winning team.

Japanese League
Reasons to sign: Already passed Hank Aaron, now it's time to go after Sadaharu Oh. Yen is performing well against the dollar of late. Japanese women are already used to seeing guys with tiny testicles.
Reasons not to sign: In Japan, when you ask for "the cream," they hand you a bukakke video. In the Japanese league, you actually have to hustle.
Verdict: Not as clazy as it sounds.

Tampa Bay Rays (nee Devil Rays)
Reasons to sign: For the Rays, it sure would be nice if fans came to a game other than when the Red Sox or Yankees were in town. Bonds could buy booze for all the kids on the roster. Florida has no income tax, meaning one fewer risk for investigation into tax evasion. Pedro Gomez already has a retirement home in Florida, so that works out nicely for him.
Reasons not to sign: If ESPN starts showing up to Tampa Bay games, someone might notice that in an effort to cut costs, the Rays have been dressing up little leaguers, throwing them out on the field, and paying them in jolly ranchers.
Verdict: What have they got to lose? It's not like either party had any dignity to begin with.

So I guess it comes down to Tampa Bay and Japan for Barry. Neither really qualifies as Major League Baseball and they both play in hideous domed stadiums. Both are known for having great strip clubs, but only in Japan can you get a girl dressed up like your favorite anime character. Advantage: Japan. Sayonara, Barry.

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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Baseball Is Most Exciting When It's Not Being Played

Where were my readers last night to warm me that a small Lakers lineup of Farmar, Fisher, and Kobe could take a 12 point deficit and turn it into a tie game in just a minute and a half? I've taken enough losses to know not to start counting my money before the final buzzer sounds, but that was brutal. A few more games like that and my kneecaps will look Adam Morrison's. Oh well, I won't focus on the things I don't have- like say, money- and instead concentrate on the things I do have- such as an extensive collection of Lucy Pinder pictures to refer to when With Leather is having trouble making an ID of a random bikini pic.

Elsewhere in the sports world, the baseball offseason is actually more interesting than the World Series was.

Padres CF Mike Cameron has been suspended for 25 games as the result of failing a second test for an illegal stimulant. He of course says that it must be the result of taking a tainted supplement. Why can't I ever get any roids or an extra jolt out of my Vitamin Water? And what is up with San Diego athletes and tainted supplements? Maybe they should stop buying their "supplements" at the pharmacias on Avenida Revolucion in Tijuana.

In a related story, Tony Gwynn says that his enormous weight gain is also the result of tainted supplements. He thought he was taking giant, chewable vitamins. It turns out that they were cheeseburgers.

In an interview with the Denver Post, Rockies owner Charlie Monfort claimed that his team was better than the Red Sox, insisting, "You give us 10 games against them, we'll beat them six." Damn. It's a shame that the WS isn't a best of 10 series, because the Rockies were just about to rip off six in a row. By the way, what would happen if a best of 10 series ended in a 5-5 tie? Maybe Selig would award the world championship to the team coming from the league that had the lowest pitch count in the All-Star game.

Monfort also thanked his players for their performance, saying "They've brought credibility back to the franchise, not that we ever lost it."

Other statements from Monfort may include:

"This Rockies team proved that God is alive and well, not that He ever really needed any proof."

"I'd like to thank Viagra for giving me a full, rigid erection, not that I ever needed Viagra in the first place."

While noone is confirming the NY Post story, it appears that Joe Torre is headed to Los Angeles to manage the Dodgers. Upon hearing the news, Dodgers reliever Scott Procter went ahead and called Dr. Frank Jobe to schedule his Tommy John surgery for July of 2008.

Overall, the role of the manager is probably overrated, but one thing Joe Torre has is experience in situations that the Dodgers need to be in. I'm not referring to managing in the World Series. I'm more interested in his ability to take a hitter who can't hit worth a lick and sit him on the bench for the majority of the season, despite the fact that the hitter is collecting a giant paycheck andis virtually untradeable. If Torre can do that with the slap-hitting, no-walking, noodle-armed Juan Pierre then maybe the Dodgers can go places, afterall.

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Tuesday, July 31, 2007

The Sublime Genius of Jim Leyland

It's only July, but the Tigers just got themselves one step closer to the world series; and they did it by losing.

If the current standings hold to form, the Tigers and Angels would face each other in the first round of the playoffs (Red Sox vs Indians would be the other matchup.) Last weekend, the Detroit Tigers had a three game set with the Anaheim Angels. At the time, the Angels were reportedly considering various trade proposals with the Rangers that would land them Mark Teixeira. However during those negotiations, the Angels went on one of the most prolific offensive surges of their franchise's history, scoring 34 runs en route to a three game sweep of the Tigers. That production convinced Angels GM Bill Stoneman that his team's offense would be fine with the likes of Garret Anderson and Casey Kotchman protecting Vladimir Guerrero. The Angels bowed out of the race for Teixeira, who went to the Braves, and the Tigers now have a first round bye in the playoffs.

It's far-fetched to suggest that the Tigers willingly tanked the Angels series, but it is interesting to note that in the games immediately following the sweep, the Angels were shutout on four hits (Anderson and Kotchman a combined 0 for 8) by the Mariners and the Tigers gave a pitcher named Tata a win in his major league debut as Detroit beat the A's, 5-2.

That Jim Leyland is a wily old dog.

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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

You Mess With the Kuo, You've Got To Go

Thanks to Our Book of Scrap (via Sports Unfiltered) for posting what is undoubtedly one of the top ten bat flips by a Taiwanese pitcher in the history of Major League Baseball. If you haven't seen it yet, make sure you catch it quickly before MLB has it removed as part of its ongoing policy of having all traces of anything that makes baseball seem even remotely enjoyable instantly removed from the information superhighway.

Also, it's good to know that if I'm ever visiting a Taiwanese whorehouse, "back to back to back" is the same in Chinese as it is in English.

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Monday, June 11, 2007

Ten Million Doesn't Buy What It Used To

When the Chicago Cubs drafted Jeff Samardzija in the 5th round of the 2006 amateur player draft, they'd hoped they had found a pitcher who along with being a good prospect, was also a local boy with a built-in fan base. When the organization guaranteed him $10 million to stop playing football and concentrate solely on baseball, it was an indication that they were counting on Samardzija to be a quick developer who would help ease the pain from the eventual losses of Prior, Wood, and Zambrano. What they have at the moment is a giant bust, and one very expensive single-A middle reliever.

After going winless in 11 starts this season with a 5.75 ERA, the Daytona Cubs have moved the former Notre Dame two-sport star to the bullpen. This year, opposing batters have a .377 on base percentage against Samardzija. As another indicator that he just isnt' fooling anyone, he has only struck out 21 batters in 55 innings. Actually, I suppose he'd fit right in as part of the Cubs bullpen.

I don't know what the protocol is for communicating with players from rival schools, but it might be a good idea for Samardzija to get a hold of Drew Henson for some info on exploring a football career after flaming out in baseball.

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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The Nightcap - Celtics Fans Are Down For the Count

-"Dear ESPN Sports Gal,

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. If it's any consolation, lighting himself on fire is the way he always wanted to go. Like many others, I will choose to remember Bill for the times when he was actually funny. If you can find any consolation in the wake of these events, perhaps it is this: At least now, your daughter won't be forced to play in every single rec sports league because her father was disappointed that he didn't get a son.

Yup, I am his reader.

P.S. Would you happen to have an email address for any of the Page2 editors? I understand there's now an opening."

-While Celtics' fans might be upset about losing the opportunity to draft Greg Oden or Kevin Durant, not all is lost. There's still a chance that they could use the #5 pick on Spencer Hawes and give season ticket holders the young, white star they've been longing for. Maybe he can be the next Kevin McHale (the dominant big man version, not the franchise-killing front office guy).

-Immediately after the draft lottery, ESPN analyst Jon Barry said that Portland should trade away the most coveted #1 pick in years for veteran players because the Blazers do not need to get younger. Note to self: after building an empire with underground strip clubs and dog fights catering to athletes and then buying a NBA franchise with newfound fortune, do not hire Jon Barry as your GM.

-The Washington Redskins have issued a statement apologizing for the comments made by Clinton Portis which were dismissive of the allegations that Michael Vick is facing in connection with a dog fighting ring.

"The Washington Redskins, as an organization, obviously would never condone anything related to animal cruelty," the team's statement said.

I wonder how the organization would feel about endorsing anything related to genocide? Would the REDSKINS condone that?

-The Yankees are rushing Roger Clemens along and he may actually start for the Yankees next week against the Blue Jays. But after watching Mike Mussina pitch today, I think it's Roger Clemens' pharmacist that they really need the most.

-So, a few days after Jason Giambi says that baseball should apologize to the fans for its rampant use of steroids, it's somehow leaked to a NY Daily News reporter that Giambi failed an amphetamine test within the last year. Giambi should consider himself lucky. Bud Selig wanted to have the brake fluid drained from Giambi's car, but Donald Fehr was able negotiate a simple "uppers" violation.

-Giambi has said that whatever he did use, he didn't feel like it really helped him. He would have hit the homers anyway. So um...why did he keep taking it? Did he just like to start each day with a needle in the ass? That is like me saying that I'm pretty sure the women at the club would have slept with me anyway, but I just slipped the roofies in their drinks because I heard it was the thing to do.

-Speaking of ladies that I might need an added edge with, check out the Ultimate Fan Sweepstakes over at The grand prize is a set of tickets to two Dodgers home games with the opportunity to meet Alyssa Milano at one of the games. Ya know, maybe I'm selling myself short. She did date Carl Pavano afterall, so maybe she isn't the most discerning chick in town. That's my kind of girl.

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Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Sales of Mets Hats Picking Up in New York

Yankees fans are not a patient group by nature, but it appears that this season they are beginning to embrace that virtue. After getting off to a slow start, Yankees fans assured themselves to "Just wait" and things would get better. I don't know if it's optimism, stubborness, or arrogance, but Yankees fans know they'll be dominant. It's their rightful place in baseball. Well, they're still waiting. Here is a progression of the Yankee party line over the course of the season:

"Just wait 'til Matsui gets back."

"Just wait 'til we meet the Sox."

"Just wait 'til Wang is healthy."

"Just wait 'til we get that rematch with the Sox."

"Just wait 'til we call up Hughes."

"Just wait 'til Donnie Baseball is in charge."

..."Just wait 'til next season."

Don't worry Yankees fans- you'll get there. C.C. Sabathia is a free agent after 2008- I'm sure he'll help the pitching staff. In the meantime, take comfort in knowing that ARod will continue to have a good season since there won't be any pressure of a playoff run this year.

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