Tell Ron Artest About The Rabbits Again

With Bob Barker in retirement, PETA has taken the reigns as the leader in the campaign to convince people to have their pets spayed or neutered. They've launched an ad campaign that has featured John McEnroe, model Dita Van Teese, and their latest spokesperson...Ron Artest! Yes, in their search for the right person to deliver a message on treating animals humanely, PETA opted to go with a guy who was recently accused of animal cruelty. This video appears to have been filmed last summer, but according to PETA, the campaign itself is new:



(For a clearer version of this video, check out PETA's official blog, "The PETA Files." By the way, I think it's a reflection of the insular nature of the organization that PETA doesn't realize their blog is a play on words for child molesters.)

Edited from this clip is Ron looking at his pooch, John Henry, and saying, "Did you know that you have to feed your doggies too? I thought they could just hunt for their own."

To be fair, it's possible that Ron Artest's dog sitter was to blame for neglecting his dogs for a month. Also Ron-Ron sounds very sincere when he talks about volunteering in an animal shelter to "pet the doggies." Actually, as erudite reader JSon pointed out to me, he sounds a lot like Lennie Small, the mentally deficient but good-hearted farmhand from "Of Mice and Men" who dreams of living off the fat of the land and tending to his rabbits. Artest actually comes off as sympathetic if you imagine him hanging out in one of Sacramento's many farms and believing he has a chance for a championship on that team of D-leaguers (sorry, Quincy Douby).

The conspiracy theorist would note that David Stern has been influenced by PETA in the past when he experimented with switching from a leather to a synthetic ball for a few months. As Artest has had many run-ins with Stern (including a recent suspension after allegations of domestic abuse), it's possible that Artest agreed to do this spot to earn favor with the commissioner. This actually makes sense. Stern has lost control of the media and the owners, but at least he can still bully around a couple of players to make himself feel powerful. Maybe next week, he can get Carmelo Anthony to talk about how flying to Paris is easier than traveling to god-forsaken Seattle,

Tim Hardaway Wants to Launch Gays into Outer Space

For a very brief period, Tim Hardaway was a part of the ESPN studio team for NBA shootaround, where he quickly established himself as the most unintelligible analyst in the history of sports. My memory of him was that he made Magic Johnson sound like Barack Obama. Bob Wolfley of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel had this impression of him:

Tim Hardaway is ESPN's version of Eric Dickerson, with a twist. Dickerson at least spoke English most of the time. With Hardaway, English is his second language. Maybe third.

"The Mavericks ain't beat nobody," Hardaway said about Dallas' 5- 0 start. "Dey beat Golden State, ah, ah, ah, Chicago. Right now, we on't know if dey real or unreal."

Hardaway has been one tough watch on "ESPN Shootaround" on Fridays.

Today during an interview with Dan LeBatard, Hardaway made his thoughts very clear (update: MJD over at the FanHouse has found the audio of the entire interview):

"You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known," Hardaway said. "I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States."

The best part of this- Hardaway was being interviewed from Vegas where he is currently participating in an NBA Cares event.

Now I'll bet Hardaway doesn't really hate all gay people- only the gay dudes and butch chicks. But I'm sure that the lipstick lesbians that you find in pornos and strip clubs are A-OK in Timmy's book. Cuz, I mean, that's a beautiful, beautiful thing and who doesn't love that?

While some might think that this opinion is borne out of ignorance, Hardaway actually has experience in this area. I think all of his hatred stems from a scarring incident when he was still in the league and he found himself with a face full of Baron Davis' nutsack and clearly didn't like it:


Hardaway later apologized for his remarks on the advice of his new publicist, Kim Etheredge. I guess Hardaway has abandoned any aspirations to return to the NBA as an analyst. But on the bright side, maybe Tony Dungy will invite him to speak at the next banquet for the Indiana Family Institute.