Sabathia And Sheets And Pray For Sleet

If the season were to end today, the Milwaukee Brewers and St. Louis Cardinals would meet in a one game playoff to see who would face the Phillies as the NL Wild Card. Not bad for a team that employs Eric Gagne in the bullpen and only has one decent starting pitcher. Well, now they can make that two starting pitchers, as today the Brew Crew acquired CC Sabathia from the Indians in exchange for top hitting prospect Matt LaPorta.

Sabathia says he is "excited" about the move, and why shouldn't he be? Not only is he going from a team in the cellar to a team competing for a playoff spot, but he also gets to throw against national league lineups for the remainder of the season...in a contract year. Heck, even the Royals starters dominated the NL in interleague- just think of the numbers Sabathia will be able to accumulate over the next few months. He probably made himself another $10-$20 mil over the lifetime of his next contract thanks to this trade.

Even if Sabathia turns out to only be a rental for the Brewers, this deal still makes a lot of sense for Milwaukee. The team hasn't been to the playoffs since 1982. In fact, the last baseball team to make it to the playoffs in Milwaukee was the fictitious Cleveland Indians led by Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn in Major League, which was filmed in Milwaukee County Stadium. The NL is especially weak this year, so now seems like a great time to strike. The Brewers were already in the thick of things with the corpse of Jeff Suppan as their #2 starter. Now he gets bumped down by a motivated Sabathia, and suddenly Milwaukee is a legitimate contender....assuming Gagne isn't renamed the closer.

Of course this deal is not without its risks. Sending CC Sabathia to the land of bratwurst is a dangerous proposition. Plus, there's the possibility that Sabathia could interfere with the chemistry in the locker room. You just know there are going to be a few scuffles between CC and Prince Fielder over who gets first dibs at the clubhouse buffet. But if Ned Yost makes sure there's enough milk and cookies for everyone, then for the first time in their lives, many Brewers fans will be seeing their team in the playoffs. Knowing that's possible is enough to give hope to the fanbase of any team. Except, Pittsburgh or Kansas City, of course.

Sometimes Perfection Doesn't Have to Look Perfect

In "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Football," it's explained early on that a field goal is worth three points and a touchdown is worth six points. Had somebody made that information available to Norv Turner, perhaps the outcome of the AFC Championship Game would have been different. Turner's playcalling was far too conservative anytime the Chargers reached the Patriots side of the field. It was like Norv was coaching the game with the goal of beating the spread rather than winning the game. Isn't that why the Chargers fired Marty in the first place???

Perhaps the biggest play of the game was made by Junior Seau. Late in the 3rd quarter, with the Chargers trailing 14-9, San Diego had the ball inside the New England 10 on a 3rd and one. San Diego chose to hand the ball off to Michael Turner, and Seau read the play perfectly, shooting the gap and stuffing Turner for a loss on the play. The Chargers settled for a field goal and never really threatened again. For Seau, it was a terrific football play, but might have been a terrible business move. "Seau's" is a very popular, albeit outdated (24" standard def tube tvs....really?) sports bar in San Diego. I can't imagine why any Charger fan would want to step foot in the place again. Especially with Hooters just a few blocks away...

Coming into the day, I would have never guessed that by the end of the game, I would have gained some respect for Philip Rivers, and at the same time, lost some for LaDanian Tomlinson; but that's exactly what happened. LaDanian Tomlinson has said many times that growing up, his idol was Emmitt Smith. While the Chargers have been very circumspect in detailing LT's injury, I've gotta believe that in a similar circumstance, Emmitt would have found a way to play in that game. As Emmitt himself would likely say: "The key to playing through an injury is getting on the field even tho you're hurt."

I know this is going to come across as just being another Patriots hater, and if that's the case, so be it. Unless the Patriots get an absolutely dominating performance in the Super Bowl, this team isn't deserving of the "best team ever" label, regardless of the perfect record. Not when there are teams like the 1985 Chicago Bears, who outscored their playoff opponents by a combined 91-10, (not to mention the '84 and '89 Niners and the '92 Cowboys) in the history books. Meanwhile, the Patriots let a team that had its best three offensive players badly injured hang around for far too long, while playing at home no less. Yes, they eventually put them away; and while it's the mark of a champion, it isn't the statement you need to make if you think you're the best ever...

A strange thing happened while I was watching the Giants/Packers game. As the game progressed, I actually found myself rooting for the Giants to get the win. Then Fox decided to show Archie Manning between plays for about ten minutes straight, and I was immediately filled with shame and regret...

As the winning kick went through, it was a bit telling to see that the only guy that hugged Eli Manning was punter Jeff Feagles. I think the only guy with fewer friends on his team right now is LaDanian Tomlinson.

Surprisingly, the Giants looked like the team that was better equipped to handle the frigid temperatures. Maybe I was mistaken, but I'm pretty sure that while the NY defense was on the field, I saw Eli Manning slice open 300 pound backup QB Jared Lorenzen and warm himself in his underbelly like he was a tauntaun. Meanwhile on the other sidelines, Brett Favre had to make due with drinking Terry Bradshaw's moonshine...

Some people thought that had Favre led his team to the Super Bowl, it would have been appropriate for him to retire on top at the end of the season, a la John Elway. But really, is there a more fitting way for Favre to end his career than for his last pass to be an ill-advised interception to end a playoff game?

So it's going to be Belichick vs Coughlin in a good ol' fashioned Prick-Off. Tom Coughlin has two weeks until the big game, and he's going to need every day of it. Not to prepare for the game, but rather to find a suitable donor to have a new face grafted on after losing his old one to frostbite yesterday.

This season, the Super Bowl will be played at University of Phoenix stadium. The University of Phoenix: where degrees are handed out like every student was a star football player!

I'm Not the Only One With a Playoff Hangover

You've gotta hand it to the Dallas Cowboys. They obviously are well aware of the curse that comes with being the Super Bowl loser and wanted no part of it. Rather than subject themselves to a miserable 2008 season, Wade Phillips and Jason Garrett masterminded a beautiful tank job to give the team a chance for next year. Very shrewd move...

Meanwhile, the Cowboys might want to look at the fine print on the 4 year, $14 million contract extension that they gave Patrick Crayton before the start of the playoffs. Can they get their bonus money back if Crayton forgets some of the fundamentals of his position, like running routes and catching the ball?

For as much trouble as Terrell Owens is, I think I'd rather have him on my roster than Marvin Harrison. At least Owens looks like he wants to be out on the field. In 15 career playoff games, Harrison has two touchdowns, which both came in the 41-10 route that Indy had over Denver in 2003. That is pathetic, especially considering that Peyton Manning has been his QB for all but one of those games. Yesterday, he looked like the little league player who would rather pick flowers in the outfield than pay attention to the game. Hopefully, he'll do everyone a favor and retire in the offseason.

Even if the Chargers are forced to go with Volek and Michael Turner against the Patriots, they should be safe from breaking the record for worst margin of defeat in AFC Championship game history. For that, they can thank the 1990 Los Angeles Raiders, whose QBs threw 6 ints in a 51-3 loss to the Buffalo Bills. So if Charger fans are looking for any silver lining in the possibility of Volek starting, well, at least he isn't Jay Schroeder. Also, not being on the field will give Philip Rivers more time to yell at New England fans from the sidelines.

If the AFC playoffs have taught us nothing, it's that the best way to insure you'll advance in the playoffs is to load up your team with as many douchebags as possible. Given that trend, maybe the Cowboys should look into signing Chad Johnson in the offseason. Line up "Ocho-Cinco" opposite of "I love me some me" and the Cowboys will be unstoppable in the NFC...

Speaking of unstoppable: All this time, everyone assumed it was Eli Manning that was responsible for the Giants' problems over the past few years. That impression was certainly a mistake. Obviously, it was Tiki Barber that was holding the team back all this time. It's just a shame that CBS has the Super Bowl this year because it would be a great joy to see Tiki Barber have to provide pregame analysis while his former teammates prepared to play in the Super Bowl.

Of course for that to happen, the Giants will have to get past the Packers in Green Bay first. Not an easy task, but one that I think they're up to. They proved in Buffalo a few weeks ago that their running game could excel in the snow. Besides, it seems like a close NFC Championship game loss for the Packers would be the perfect scenario to convince Brett Favre that he wants to come back for another season or three, since the team would be so close to taking that next step.

A few weeks ago, the rumor was that Tom Coughlin would be fired in the offseason and replaced by Jason Garrett. Now, it looks like the Coughlin era will continue for at least another season, and Garrett's star is fading faster than the one on Romo's helmet. Things are so bad for Garrett that at this point, it's hard to see him even being a candidate to accept and later quit the Falcons job.

Finally, shares of Kimberly-Clark (ticker: KMB) were up a little over 1 percent at the close of trading today. No doubt this spike is in anticipation of the heavy demand for Kleenex this weekend, as both Brett Favre and Tom Brady will be featured in a Championship game, and it's expected to get a little messy within a 3 foot radius of any broadcaster or sportswriter with a free hand.